Tag: Why Moms Are Weird

  • What Passes For Intelligent Conversation Around Here Lately

    [scripty] MOM I was playing with the baby and I can’t remember the toes song. PAMIE “This Little Piggy”? MOM Yeah. PAMIE Well, it’s not a song. MOM Fine, sure. But I said, “This little piggy went to market. But this little piggy didn’t go anywhere.” PAMIE Yeah, that’s not quite right. But he did […]

  • Mom Changed Her E-Mail Address

    “Mom, you sent me a blank e-mail.” “No, I didn’t. I sent the people an e-mail, and I said it was from my new e-mail address.” “Yes, but you put all that in the subject line. Then you open up the e-mail and it’s blank.” “Well, if they want to know anything else that’s going […]

  • We Need a Word

    For when you’re nursing your child and your mom stands super close to watch it while she chats, and then she gets so caught up in the moment that she leans in and kisses the baby’s head, just centimeters away from your bare breast. Because that is what happened to me yesterday. Oh, does that […]

  • Why Moms Are Here

    People like to say, “I bet your mom is so excited to be a grandmother. What did she do when she found out you were having a baby?” “Oh. She immediately put her house on the market.” And they laugh. They laugh and laugh. “That would be so funny,” they chuckle. I don’t say anything. […]

  • We Didn’t Win

    For those of you who can’t get enough of things my mom says, I had her play Game Time for the latest episode of Extra Hot Great, as I transcribed her answers. It was a maddeningly difficult Game Time where you listen to 21 clips of fictional languages from film and tv and have to […]

  • Making it Work While You’re Mostly Working for Free

    I’m waiting on the phone to ring to find out about a project I pitched yesterday while simultaneously scheduling a pitch meeting around another pitch meeting I already have set, one that is effectively killing my original plans to attend a friend’s wedding, which leads me to answering an excellent question about money with a […]

  • Eyes on the Prize

    Eyes on the Prize

    I did it to myself, but it has happened and is happening, right now. I have a manuscript and a pilot script due on the same day. That day is quickly approaching.

  • OED! OMG!!

    It is surprising you didn’t get a phone call at around 11:30pm my time last night, as I wanted to call every single person in the world after I read the following email:

  • Putting Me Out There

    In case you were coming here looking for a collection of my Valentines Day Poems: The best place to go is here. As you read this, Glark is hard at work, tirelessly attempting to wrangle the beast that is pamie.com into something that can reload with dignity. After looking through thirteen years of file dumping, he has […]

  • Why Moms are Worried: A Phone Call

    MOM: Hello? ME: Hi, Mommy! MOM: Hello? Hello? ME: Hi. MOM: Oh! Hi, Pamie! Hello.