Hi. I used to work here. I was pretty then. It’s not my fault. It’s the blogs that got small. But I’m back. Here’s what’s changed since last we checked in: *Nothing. Actually, I have a weird smell coming from my dishwasher. I put cleaning fluids and powders and potions in it every day in…

Sars, Miss Alli, and I are doing a reading this Thursday. Some of my vignettes have been culled from this very blog. Come and say hi. “Spare the Snark, Spoil the Networks” Writers from Television Without Pity www.televisionwithoutpity.com dan J. Blau Sarah D. Bunting Linda Holmes with your hostess, Kathleen Warnock Thursday, March 18, 7pm.…

In my continuing attempt to get every TWoP show cancelled, I am recapping Kingdom Hospital. Please come visit it, or there will be few more visits of which to speak.

The dumb fact of it all is that I’d never been so excited to travel to an airport in my life. For what seems like the last fifty times I’ve gotten on a plane, it’s always been to travel to some westward ho! location that takes some four to six hours to get to and…

Today is my brother’s birthday. Wish him a happy one. Below is proof that siblings speak a language unknown to all others. All IM names have been changed to protect our endless fame. Dan: HAPPY DAY! Adam: yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Adam: yayayayayayayayay! Adam: thanks. Dan: how’s it going? fun day so far? Adam: fun enough Dan: the…

So it’s a good thing I’M ALLOWED TO MARRY THEM! Sorry. I actually have a question. Totally unrelated. Please help. It is my utter pleasure to announce that Television Without Pity will be recapping Season One of America’s Next Top Model, just as soon as this season is over. I am therefore officially undertaking the…

During the time I was supposed to be recapping, I chose instead to shirk my livelihood of writing about television by…writing about television. The following IM conversation certainly isn’t a great example of snappy writing, but I’m posting this here to make everyone understand that, 6000 words a week later, and I still want to…

Relationships are based on compromise, and opposites attract for a reason. For example, if Krackel were my favorite Hershey’s Miniature and also the favorite of someone with whom I was coupled, who would eat all of the nasty Special Darks? And what’s so special about them? Besides their rancid taste, of course. I’ve asked this…

When I first moved to New York, I floated a somewhat Carrie-Bradshaw-esque theory of urban life that has held up remarkably well in the years since I proposed it, even though that was six minutes after I graduated from college at a time I thought the Spice Girls would outlast that young Spears upstart. The…

One day — and one day very, very soon — I promise I’ll post something here that isn’t just a link to the recaps that kept me from writing something significant here. You dig? Aaaanyway, that day isn’t right now. But I did buy a new shower curtain today, and it’s beeeeeautiful. Not my favorite…