Today is my brother’s birthday. Wish him a happy one. Below is proof that siblings speak a language unknown to all others. All IM names have been changed to protect our endless fame.
Dan: HAPPY DAY!
Dan: how’s it going? fun day so far?
Adam: fun enough
Dan: the post office LOST my tracking number (i know…then why do they have tracking numbers?), but said you should still have your package by 12. let me know if it doesn’t show up.
Dan: i fear it will not.
Adam: Fun Stuff!!!
Adam: How are YOU?
Adam: Now that we’re no longer the same age?
Dan: i feel so ALIVE!
Dan: and you?
Dan: so far only one major artery has hardened?
Adam: so fah only one majah ahtery has hahdened
Adam: ah, precocious billy tate
Dan: well, exactly.
Adam: jimmy baio
Dan: the teacher he was sleeping with? was 28.
Adam: oh dear LORD.
Adam: that makes me Chester, somehow.
Dan: that gives you a big helping of cheddar on the plate.
Adam: therefore i do seem like a cook to you, do you see?
Dan: ah ah ah…double negative.
Adam: oh! [friends of ours] got engaged!
Dan: no WAY!
Adam: yes WAY!
Adam: YES WAY!
Dan: there goes ever getting a response to my email.
Adam: my first thought, as well
Dan: has mom called you yet?
Adam: no… why?
Dan: because it’s your birthday?
Adam: oh– i thought there was- like- “more”
Dan: there’s no “more.” i gave blood for your birthday.
Dan: birthday blood.
Adam: spilled blood on my bday!
Dan: AND on the day the mel gibson movie opens!
Dan: so much blood!
Adam: the passion of dan!
Dan: the passion of ME!
Dan: i’m going to go back and translate this entire convo into ancient aramaic!
Adam: that’s what aramaic looks like…
Dan: really? it looks like english cursing?
Adam: they curse a lot in Aramaic
Adam: okay, bye.
Dan: HAPPY DAY!
Happy birthday, Elder Blau. Enjoy the sunshine.