Relationships are based on compromise, and opposites attract for a reason. For example, if Krackel were my favorite Hershey’s Miniature and also the favorite of someone with whom I was coupled, who would eat all of the nasty Special Darks? And what’s so special about them? Besides their rancid taste, of course.

I’ve asked this of everyone I know, and tonight Potes assured me she finds herself telling everyone she knows. The lighter the chocolate the better, I say, and even though I know white chocolate is totally fake, I can’t help but love it anyway.

So, rank your Hershey’s miniatures. I’ll go first.

1) Krackel
2) Mr. Goodbar
3) Plain-o-la
4) Special Dark. I mean, ew.

“I don’t like me no chocolate” is not an answer. We’re not here to be fractious and contrary. Chocolate is supposed to bring people together.

So, go.