Tag: Crazy People
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What That New Mom Sitting Across From You At Lunch Was Probably Thinking
Oh, this is nice. I’m outside. I’M OUTSIDE. I’M OUTSIDE! WOO! Yes, I’m outside, with my friend, like a real lady and I am going to have some lunch. A lunch date! Oh, I’m on a lunch date with my friend like I’m a real, live, normal person. This is fantastic. She’s been talking. My […]
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You Should Be
How’s everybody enjoying their holiday season? Already had a few teary fights and regrets? Having a lot of life-altering meditations and heart-to-hearts? Thinking about your life and what has happened to it? Determined to be able to see your feet again by this time next year? I hear ya, friend. I lift my non-alcoholic beer […]
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Book Giveaway! Recipes for Disaster by Tess Rafferty
My friend Tess writes jokes that probably already made you laugh. She spent years writing for The Soup, worked on roasts for Comedy Central, and now has a new book that perfectly captures the difficulties in maintaining perfect hostess calm while entertaining your drunk-ass friends. I have been one of these drunk-ass friends on more […]
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Fightin’ Words
I’m going to tell you about the time a lightbulb almost destroyed my relationship, but I can’t do it without a little backstory. For better or worse, one thing that Jason and I have in common is that we both really like to be right. We can get kind of jerky about it, which means […]
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I Just Overheard the Most Amazing Monologue By This Drunk Lady
“You don’t know about Pinterest? You don’t know about PINTEREST?! Pinterest. PINterest. It’s on the Internet. It’s like, the most, the most, THE most amazingly successful website…EVER. Something like the fastest, hundred million, it’s like– do you know Facebook? Like TEN times that. Yeah. It’s all about beautiful things and style.
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Some Things About Myself That I Need To Work On
* When I’m in a public restroom and a lady comes out of the stall, I really want to stop saying “Thank you” to her when I pass her on my way in. And I mean, I really thank her in a genuine way, every time. There is no need for this thank you. It’s […]
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This Week in “Somtimes I’m Stoopid.”
This week has taught me a few lessons I should’ve learned long ago. I’ll share them with you on the unlikely chance I’m not the last person to learn these things. First: I got internet scammed.
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More Tales from the Accidental Asshole: The Egg Lady
I don’t usually go to Halloween parties. I don’t like to dress up in a costume, and this is the part where you get to snark, “Is that because you’re usually wearing some kind of crazy outfit anyway?” to which I will say, “Yes.” But I’m not a hater, and I don’t think it’s stupid […]
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Resolution 2012: Stop Saying “Sort Of.”
I don’t usually make resolutions for the New Year, maybe because it’s too easy to put off any big decision until December 31st. If I need to do something, I try to put it on my weekly to-do list so that it gets done. I also don’t usually tell you guys my plans to like, […]
