Hi. Pam and Stee are on their honeymoon to somewhere hot in a place we can’t find them. It’s not my business to tell you about their absolutely amazing wedding, so you’ll have to wait until her triumphant return. But know this: awwwwwwwwww! As your sub, I’ll be back shortly. And bring a pencil and…

I left this on Wing’s answering machine before and now I can’t stop thinking about it. It will be sure to create enough strife in the comments section talking about what an evil person I am well into the new year, when we’ll resume regularly scheduled programming. Promise. One of the resort towns in Thailand…

So, my friend Darren was really, really, really reticent to start a blog because, in his words, “who cares what one white man in New York ate for breakfast?” Or something like that. I’m way too self-obsessed to quote anyone other than myself verbatim. Everyone has a blog, he argues, so why him also? Well,…

Look, sometimes, you know the answer and sometimes you just plum don’t. The first correct answer, delivered at 9PM on a school night is “Oh, hell yes,” in answer to the question, “Are we really about to start playing Trivial Pursuit?” Maybe you’re a little tired and maybe you’ve been at the packed mall in…

Way, way back in college, I didn’t sleep a lot. I also smoked a pack a day, drank a tureen of Diet Coke, and literally could not be made to understand the health benefits of drinking water (ie. drink it or you’ll die), so I think I was dehydrated a lot. During this time, my…

We’ve been having way too much fun around here. So now, I present unto you, the most boring blog entry of all time, ever. I have two error messages pop up every time I turn on my computer. They may be the result of a Zone Alarm update that crashed in the middle and forced…

Ring. Dan: Hello? Pam: It’s Pam. Dan: My caller ID doesn’t disagree. Pam: We’re going to see four florists tomorrow. Dan: I have that thing tomorrow. Pam: Yes. That’s right. Crap. Dan: We’ll reschedule. I’ll call them. Is that okay? Pam: I can’t talk to these people again. They do flowers. They do not do…

I just received what I imagine will be the last email sent to the info@johnkerry.com mailing list. For those of you who did not subscribe to this list, the email read as follows, under the subject line, “A sincere thank you.” Dear dan, Earlier today I spoke to President Bush, and offered him and Laura…

And now, a list of CDs at Pam’s house I’ve tried to surreptitiously steal and toss onto my iPod in her absence, only to discover that these CDs seem to have made the cross-country trip with her. You win this round, Ribon! *Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie *That one Postal Service album *Every note…

Dear Red Sox: Please win. Just win. You’re up sixty runs. I shouldn’t have to be so nervous all the time. I feel manipulated, but I can’t help it. We’ll talk about how you’ll win the World Series tomorrow. After you win this game. Just win this game first. and it will be enough. It…