Dan: You know what rules? Dan’s coworker Sean: What? Dan: Cake. Sean: It does. Did you see what they put on the cake? Dan: What? Sean: Cookies. Dan: That’s overkill. Sean: Don’t you think? While you’re at it, why not just add some bacon? Dan: Oh, my god. You know what they would call that?…

Today in game show host death news. Boy, did it take me forever one day last week to convince the people I work with that this was an actual television show. Or that the point of said game show was for its contestants to deal with the myriad perils of these. Well, now they know.…

You never think you’re going to find yourself in a town called “Valencia.” You also never expect that the word “Valencia” is going to inspire an immediate, Pavlovian-level response of, “Oh, you mean, like, oranges?” from a good 90% of the people you tell you are going there. Valencia = oranges? I mean, I guess…

In my family, we employ a strange conversational device that is unfamiliar — and, I imagine, frequently intolerable — to those in the outside world. That is: we lack the ability to perceive the concept of the “rhetorical question.” As follows is a typical conversation between my brother and me that has been occurring since…

Liveblogging the Oscars is a valiant activity, and truly I applaud anyone who undertakes it. And you know what else I love? Talking about movies. And, kind of, talking in general. But following a recent viewing of Transamerica, I offered a totally irony-free review of, “Wow, Felicity Huffman’s performance was really good, you guys!” and…