and this is where things are at the office

Dan: You know what rules?
Dan’s coworker Sean: What?
Dan: Cake.
Sean: It does. Did you see what they put on the cake?
Dan: What?
Sean: Cookies.
Dan: That’s overkill.
Sean: Don’t you think? While you’re at it, why not just add some bacon?
Dan: Oh, my god. You know what they would call that?
Sean: What?
Dan: They would call it “cake-on.” Like, rhymes with bacon.
Sean: They would. Sugar-covered bacon.
Dan: Cake-on.
Sean: Cake-on.
Dan: Please tell me one person who wouldn’t eat that. Name one person. Here’s a phone book. Find somebody.
Sean: …
Dan: Precisely.

I’ll just sit here patiently while you sit in quiet awe of my rock star Hollywood life.