tix, hicks, and chicks

i make plans to go to chicago, abandon a dead girl and have two children. and it’s only tuesday.

Eric comes home tomorrow. And right now my mom is buying tickets for us to see Chicago. What you must understand is how much I love this musical… and I’ve never seen it. We had the soundtrack when I was growing up, and when I was about three I guess they took the album and hid it because I was running around the neighborhood saying “You’ve been screwing the milkman!”

When I was thirteen my mother pulled the album out of the garage and put it on. You know what? Even though looking at it I couldn’t recognize what it was, when she put on the first song, I still knew right when the gunshots came. So as far as I’m concerned, I’ve always known Chicago, and quite frankly, I’m a little insulted that they never asked me to be in the revival. All they’d have to teach me were the steps. I would love to play Roxie when I get older. Right now I’d settle for one of the six merry murdresses in the Cook County Jail. Or Matron Mama Morton. Ooh, I’m so excited that we are going to go… if tickets are still available.

Last night I was at the bar and I went into the little girls room. I sat down in the stall and looked to my right. In the stall next to me was a girl wearing sneakers and brown corduroy pants. She got out of the stall, I got out of the stall. She was washing her hands, and I was standing behind her waiting for her to be done so I could wash my hands. She moved out of the way, I washed my hands, she left. I left.

About half an hour later I went back into the bathroom. I sat down in the same stall and looked to my right again. Sneakers and brown corduroy pants. She got out of the stall, I got out of the stall. She started washing her hands, and I waited again. I made small talk. “Looks like we’re on the same pee schedule,” I said. “Yeah, well with me it’s every fifteen minutes, so chances are you’re gonna see me in here,” was her reply.

Another half hour went by and I went to the bathroom again. I went in the same stall. Looked to my right: you got it. Sneakers and brown corduroy pants. I said (inside the stall) “I figured you’d be here.”

complete silence. She didn’t respond.

I started to wonder, “Did that sound like a freak? Do I sound like a freak? I’m some stall talker… a stall stalker. I don’t want to be a stall stalker. Normally I never talk to people when they are peeing, but the two of us had a history.”

She said nothing and remained in the stall. When I got out, a friend of mine was waiting at the door. I tried to pull it off like I was talking to her when I declared I knew she was there.

Half an hour later (don’t ask how long we were at this bar, okay?) I go to the bathroom. Same stall. Look to my right: Same shoes, same pants. Now, I don’t say anything to her, since she already gave me the cold shoulder. I mean, what do you say to a total stranger when that happens? “Hey! You! I’m talking to you, you know! Don’t ignore me just because I don’t know your name. We’ve chatted!” So I didn’t say anything. But I started to worry about her. Is she okay? She doesn’t even look like she’s moved. Maybe she passed out on the toilet. Maybe she’s really sick.

And then I thought about how she snubbed me, so I left her alone in the stall.

Maybe I missed out on making a new friend. Maybe I missed out on helping a fellow woman in need. Maybe I missed out on being a hero. But if you snub me, then I’ll snub you back.

Unless the reason that she didn’t talk to me before was because she was already in trouble way back then. Oh, I didn’t think of that before. God, I’m a horrible, horrible human being. I should have done something. I should have offered to help her. I should have checked on her. How do you check on a total stranger while they are sitting on a toilet? I guess it really was none of my business… maybe… I am filled with guilt.

So my friend bought me not one, but two virtual pets for Christmas. Two different virtual pets. One is the old tried and true Tamagotchi, and the other is this talking nano puppy. It’s a dog, but he talks in English. Of course. Anyway, because I’m a masochist, I started both of them at the same time. And they are in the baby phases of this toy, so I’m constantly going back and forth, feeding one, playing with the other. My tamagotchi just grew up a year, as they do within the first two hours of their lives, so now I don’t have to be so attentive to him right now. The good thing about the Tamagotchi is the “pause” feature. The nano puppy does not have one. So, when I go to Vegas next week, my puppy may die. I don’t think I’ll take him with me. I already get carded enough in Vegas, I’m sure with a Pooh backpack and a virtual pet, with my hair in pigtails, they’ll barely let me in to see Siegfried and Roy.

My second vacation starts tomorrow. So, again, if you want to contact me for the next week, use the other e-mail address. Isn’t this fun?But that starts tomorrow, not today, because I’m working until ten tonight… but not tomorrow, when I’m off… forget it.

Mostly I’m excited that Eric is coming home tomorrow so that I can get a decent night’s sleep. I can never sleep when he’s gone. The bed is too cold. I end up staying up until five in the morning reading or watching television. Last night I read Prizes. Read all about it in the book section.

Both of my virtual pets just pooped at once. Maybe I’m not feeding them right.

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