still waiting

so i chat about moms, sex and evil

So we still don’t know. That’s the easy part of the answer. They extended the deadline until Friday. So, tomorrow, without a doubt, we should know… unless they don’t tell us until Monday, which I doubt would happen. I also had an interview for a promotion today at my job… when will I find out? You guessed it, tomorrow. Which, at this point, starts in about twelve hours.

I did Christmas shopping today. Quite a bit of it. I’m almost done… down now the the gifts that I’m just not sure about… what to get my mother, my sister…

But just about everything else is done, done, done. I even wrapped them, so there’s no way that Eric will stumble upon them accidentally before he leaves for Pittsburgh for the holidays.

I talked to my mother on the phone the other day…

[scripty]
MOM
I couldn’t read part of your page the other day… there was a big ad on it.

PAMIE
An ad?

MOM
Yeah, and it covered everything up.

PAMIE
What day was it?

MOM
Oh… I don’t know. A few days ago.

PAMIE
What was it about?

MOM
Hmm.. not sure. Like I said, I couldn’t really read it.

PAMIE
Well, was it about living with Eric or was it about masturbation?

MOM
It may have been that second one.

PAMIE
The masturbation one?

MOM
Well, I’m not sure, there was that other one about… sex.

PAMIE
SEX?

MOM
Don’t tease me, you don’t have to write about it.

PAMIE
Mom, it was about playing “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” and the other was about masturbation. There was no.. .sex.

MOM
My daughter is dirty. She has a dirty mind.

PAMIE
Mom, you don’t have to read them. That wasn’t an ad, it was a picture. It wasn’t covering anything.

MOM
Oh, well, I stopped reading right there because I thought I was missing something.

PAMIE
You just didn’t want to read about sex.

MOM
Stop it.

PAMIE
And I didn’t see Alex’s, I didn’t let him show me.

MOM
Good.

PAMIE
Do you remember walking in?

MOM
No, of course not.

PAMIE
So, here I am at work on the phone with my mother talking about my web page, masturbation, and sex. I’m pretty sure I’m going to get fired.

MOM
I love you so much I’m going to forget your father’s rule about not buying you any Pooh things and I’m getting you a bouncing Tigger for Christmas.
[/scripty]

That’s how I remember the end of the conversation, anyway. I went into the Disney store today and set off all the bouncing Tiggers at the same time. That was fun.I saw the scariest thing I’ve ever seen today. It was on television. It is truly, truly haunting me. It’s called

Teletubbies.

Okay, check this out. These little gnome creature things do everything twice and they worship this flaming baby head in the sky and periodically this voice comes out and makes them show films on their stomachs again and again and again. Some of them can move, and others act like they are in a full body cast. They try and hold hands, and they say each other’s names… (evil sounding names like Winky-Binky, layla, and po…) and they just keep doing things over and over again. I watched them dance for fifteen minutes. They had to dance for fifteen minutes because whenever they tried to stop the evil flaming baby head in the sky would look at them sort of cross, and they’d start dancing to appease him and then the flaming baby head would laugh, and all was okay in the world.

I am terrified that these things will creep into my nightmares.

I am also terrified that one day Eric will have to audition to be the voice of Po.

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