no call means more time to get in other people’s business

So… still no call.

This is neither a good thing, nor a bad thing… they just haven’t called yet. Apparently they had some late meetings. But we did not stop waiting for the phone to ring until about ten thirty last night. We all sat around the table at Matt’s bar playing “what if…”

“What if they called, but no one picked up the phone?”

“What if they plan on calling tomorrow or Thursday or something?”

“What if they were going to call, and then decided it would be too much trouble?”

“What if they don’t call?”

Just got a call… it was a call to say there hasn’t been a call yet.

So, we don’t know. That’s all I know.

But I do know this: I got my first Christmas card. It was from the Mighty Kymm… and I learned from the photo on the card that Miss Kymm is left handed. She also took that photo in September, since her webpage was up on her screen and it was the graphics from September.

Some may think of this as crazy-scary-stalker skills. I like to think of them as good deductive reasoning skills.

I have very good deductive reasoning skills. When I was seventeen and my birthday was approaching I was on the phone with my friend and my sister asked if she could talk to him.

“Sure,” I said.

“Hi, Casey? Give them… give them to the people.”

“Oh, man!” I said, “Look, if you are going to plan a surprise party for me, please do it in the other room!”

“How did you know? Who told you?” She was shocked.

“Oh, come on. ‘Give them to the people?’ What else could he be giving to ‘the people?’ Invitations.”

“Mom is gonna be pissed.”

My brain works that way. I try and figure out what people are whispering about, what they mean when they say something… you know, the underlying meaning behind what they are saying…

My deductive reasoning skills are at their peak right now, sharpened by the fact that I am having to figure out Christmas presents from small questions given to me…

“You’re my little Tigger”= you are getting a bouncing Tigger.

“We don’t have any clean plates”= you are getting a new plateware set for Christmas.

“I’m tired. Ready for bed?”= new linens under your tree this year.

“Do we have a port on the back of our computer?”= a scanner.

“My back hurts”= Thank God I bought you ten free massages for the year.

“I’m thirsty”= I bought you a new timing belt for your car.

“Did you check the messages?”= I got you tickets to see Mr. Show with Bob and David.

“Take a left here.”= Diamonds, pearls, and a delicate strand of gold to encase them– it’s all for you.

“Hit the snooze button for me, would you?”= Did I mention that I found a Ferby?

“The Simpsons are on.”= I could never find enough presents that would equate the love that I have for you in my heart. I hope you appreciate these small tokens of my affection as symbols of our future life together.

“Hey, move your big head.”= And you know, anything that you would buy me would only result in some strange Gift of the Magi occurrence, so you’d better just find me little things… nothing fancy.

Oh, yeah, you can’t hide anything from me.

I have also deduced that Beth and I are linked in a Six Degrees of Separation way by a friend of mine being a friend of a friend of hers. I should get paid for this stuff.

Since the other Beth is convinced that Kymm is not so Mighty anymore, maybe the title should go to me, now, since I have proven to be the master of linkage, and again, I have very good deductive reasoning skills. I’m just saying, if the title is available, maybe we should take some sort of vote as to who should now be Mighty, and what kind of title we could give to Kymm. Beth is going with “Evil,” but I’m kind of liking “Lefty,” which my (good) deductive reasoning skills are telling me that Miss Melty would probably whole-heartedly support. The Lefty Kymm. It’s got a nice ring.

And yes, if I am supposed to get a card from you, I’ll obsess over it this much as well. So, I hope they were good.

My vacation starts tomorrow. Hip! Hip! Hooray!

Because of that, I will not be able to get any of your lovely e-mails if you send them to the same address you use now. From tomorrow until January 11th, please use my other e-mail address. Now, that’s starting tomorrow, not today. If you use it today, I would only see it tomorrow, which would mean I would answer it later than I read it tomorrow, which could go well into Friday, which would just be terrible. So if you want to reach me today, before six central time, then you should use my normal address, which you guys all have been using just fine, you’re probably really adjusted to it, it is usually found at the bottom of these entries with something charming and witty that I have written as if you would say if I had just told you an incredibly long ramble. So, if you are going to the bottom of the page tomorrow, but you are reading about today, but it really is tomorrow, then you should skip to tomorrow to respond, or you should just hit the word “other” above to respond, because if you respond to today tomorrow by using what you should use today to write to me, then you will not hear from me until much, much later (the day after Christmas, when I pull an extra shift) and that would be terrible, in case you, too, have a different e-mail address over the holidays.

So, to recap:

• If it is today and you are going to e-mail me concerning today, use the address at the bottom.
• Or you can use the address listed above under “normal address.”
• If it is today and you are going to e-mail me concerning something that happened before today, see above.
• If it is tomorrow or later, and you are going to e-mail me concerning today, use the other address listed under “other”
• Or you can use the address at the bottom of the entries starting tomorrow.

How easy is that?

See, my organizational and directorial skills rival my good deductive reasoning skills.