Activating Niya

Here’s the thing about Niya. She sits across from me at the table every day, and while I never know exactly when it will happen, there will be a point where she goes off. Sometimes it’s over something seemingly innocuous, like cookies. Or dogs. I particularly enjoy the times it’s about how she would have reacted if she were me in a certain situation. (“Oh, you need to listen. I don’t know who the FUCK you think you are, but…”)

I have often said I’m trying to be able to tap into my inner Niya, and she says she’s working on her outer Pam.

In a conversation about Twitter and Facebook, Niya went off on how annoying Twitter is: “It’s just one damn thing after another, on and on about how perfect everything is in her life, all these little moments I couldn’t give a FUCK about because I DON’T LIVE WITH HER. “My darling Jessie just came home from school.” “Jessie just drank some milk.” “Jessie got all A’s!” “I love my perfect family!” “Dinner: what to make?” “Laundry, I just did it.” Why don’t you put down the damn Twitter and join your perfect goddamn family?!?”

This turned into Niya telling me what she thinks about women who call themselves the CEO’s of their families. I loved it so much it made me want to make my very first YouTube video. Enjoy.

Dr. Louann Brizendine: The Female Brain

“Whether or not she is being listened to will tell a young girl if others take her seriously, which in turn goes to the growth of her sense of a successful self. Even though her language skills aren’t developed, she understands more than she expresses, and she knows — before you do — if your mind has wandered for an instant. She can tell if the adult understands her. If the adult gets on the same wavelength, it actually creates her sense of self as being successful or important. If she doesn’t connect, her sense is of an unsuccessful self.”

for your listening pleasure…

[readermail]Last week, on pamie.com, there was a discussion about men who won’t listen to female singers/bands – which is just stupid.

In response, my latest podcast is Women Who Rock, a (rather unimaginatively titled) mix of rock, soul, blues, and jazz tracks by mankind’s better half.

Enjoy,
Dave[/readermail]
Track Listing:

  • Elastica – Connection
  • Pretenders – Precious
  • Goldfrapp – Lovely 2 C U
  • Rufus & Chaka Khan – Ain’t Nobody
  • Madonna – Into The Groove
  • Ann Peables – I Can’t Stand the Rain
  • Fiona Apple – Tymps (The Sick in the Head Song)
  • Holy Cole – Little Boy Blue
  • Erykah Badu – Tyrone
  • Cassandra Wilson – Time After Time
  • Lucinda Williams – Essence
  • The Slits – Typical Girls
  • Blondie – Dreaming
  • Ike & Tina Turner – Nutbush City Limits
  • Kelly Clarkson – Since You’ve Been Gone
  • B’52’s – 52 Girls
  • Sahara Hotnights – Rockaway Beach
  • Martha & the Vandalls – Dancing In The Street
  • The Breeders – Cannonball
  • Christina Marrs – Darling Niki
  • Nina Simone – Feelin’ Good
  • Stars – Ageless Beauty (The Most Serene Republic Remix)
  • Cat Power – Wonderwall
  • Bangles – Manic Monday
  • Shannon – Let The Music Play
  • Nikka Costa – Like a Feather
  • Sugercubes – Birthday
  • Inara Geirge – Genuis
  • Siouxsie & the Banshees – Mirage
  • Yum Yum Orange! – I Want To Be Your Boyfriend
  • Aretha Franklin – I Get High
  • Jill Scott – Gimme’
  • Gladys Knight & The Pips – Midnight Train to Georgia
  • Mary Lou Lord – Nineteen
  • Patty Griffin – Truth (No. 2)
  • Etta James – Tell Mama

blood lines

I don’t understand why they can’t market hair removal products to women without being utterly condescending. The worst is the Intuition, which instantly puts a Shakira song in my head anyway, but to add insult to injury, they also show these women who can’t handle holding a razor. It’s always flying across the room, soap shooting out from their luxurious bubble bath. “Ooopsy! I dwopped my waazor! I sure wish someone would hewp widdle naked me.” Continue reading

Fuck Jill

and eric gets to do the “i told you so” dance

[scripty]
PAMIE
Ooh! Look! A present for me!

ERIC
What is it?

PAMIE
“Buena Vista Social Club”

ERIC
There must be some mistake. That’s obviously for me.

PAMIE
No. It’s for me. See? It says so right here.

ERIC
But it’s really for me.

PAMIE
He doesn’t even know you, Eric. It’s for me.

ERIC
But you’re gonna hate it.

PAMIE
You don’t know.

ERIC
I know.

PAMIE
You don’t.

ERIC
You might as well just give it to me, because you’re gonna hate it.

PAMIE
It’s my gift, dammit. I’m keeping it.

ERIC
Whatever. You’ll give it to me tomorrow.

PAMIE
Don’t be so smug. I’m taking it to work tomorrow.

ERIC
Tomorrow night, then. Whenever you hear it first.

PAMIE
Think you know so much.

The next day.

PAMIE
Hello?

ERIC
Whasssssup?

PAMIE
Hi.

ERIC
What’s that you’re listening to in the background?

PAMIE
You know what the problem is with the Buena Vista Social Club?

ERIC
(stifling laugh)
What’s that, baby?

PAMIE
It sounds like I’m in line at Fiesta Texas.

ERIC
Uh-huh.

PAMIE
All waiting for my turn on the Dungeon Drop.

ERIC
I told you you’d hate it.

PAMIE
And it’s not like the good time that you have waiting in line, either. It’s like that time when all you can hear is the music because it’s all hot and shit. And everyone you’re with is so hot that they’ve stopped talking to each other because that takes too much energy, so you’re all just leaning on the rails waiting for your three seconds of ride and you’re shirt is sticking to you and you’re cranky and there’s lemon ice all sticky on your hands and shit.

ERIC
Baby. Why did he send you Buena Vista Social Club, anyway?

PAMIE
I think it was on my wish list.

ERIC
Had you heard them before?

PAMIE
(ultra-pouty)
No.

ERIC
So, why did you put it on your wish list, then?

PAMIE
It’s a cool name.

ERIC
Oh, baby.

PAMIE
Omar said they were good.

ERIC
You wanted it because it was a good name?

PAMIE
Omar tricked me.

ERIC
Most critically acclaimed album of the year and you’re equating it to amusement park Tejano.

PAMIE
I’m all getting kicked in the shins by kids waiting for the Sky Screamer.

ERIC
Yeah. Go back to your Britney Spears album and leave the real music to the rest of us, okay?

PAMIE
Maybe I will.

ERIC
So, can I have it now?

PAMIE
Not until you replace the Macy Gray CD that you lost.

ERIC
I owe you a CD, okay? What would you like?

PAMIE
“Hooray for Boobies.”

ERIC
Of course you do.
[/scripty]

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