I am sitting exactly as I was one year ago today. And just like one year ago today, I’m reading over email from you, telling me how you’re doing, and how you feel about my writing. Strange how our lives go in cycles, even when we think we’re doing something unpredictable. I love how there were so many familiar names in my inbox.
My computer crashed on Monday, taking with it the new novel I’d been working on and all of the nice email I’d received since Friday. I spent all of Monday trying to fix it. I called Sony, who basically told me that they don’t care about my problem and have no plans to fix it, even though it was the new battery that they sent me that caused the crash. I woke people up in the middle of the night. I scoured websites looking for someone with the answer to my question. I sat there with a disk that would just wipe the hard drive clean and start over. I made myself stop. I can’t believe I did it, but I made myself walk away from the computer and leave it. I cooled down. Now I have a new plan of attack. A friend is helping me out. I’m glad I didn’t delete it Monday night.
I just can’t stand having something broken like that. Something that I’ve fixed so many times. I understand computers. I’m the one that normally can fix it. I hate it when I have no control over the machine. I just sat there rebooting it over and over again, wishing it would play those soothing notes that mean Windows just started. But nothing. Just quiet and then a churning, and then the computer went into a loop and I would think about throwing it against the wall as hard as I could.