Lately, people have made a point to let me know their wishes in the event of their untimely death (or persistent vegetative state). But if any of you are hoping to be shot out of a peyote button clenched in the palm of a 53-foot high Gonzo fist, you should probably let me know now so I can start saving up. If it means I work shoulder-to-shoulder with Johnny Depp in order to carry out your memorial service to your specifications, I’m willing to make that sacrifice. Continue reading
Dear Eddie Izzard,
Sorry I made an ass out of myself standing next to you on a staircase. See, Jessica really likes you, and I do, too, but I wanted her to see she was standing next to you. I’m sorry I kind of pushed her into you while you were trying to dial your cell phone. You looked like you were having a hard time acclimating while walking up the stairs. The stairs never get easier, do they? Heh-heh-heh. Anyway, YOU’RE AWESOME AND WOOOO! [Virtual flashing]
How come you don’t come out to Los Angeles? I think you’d really like it here. We’ve got lots to do, and there are plenty of things for you to cover. Think of the traffic jams you could cause! Also, you’d do really well out here: you’re white.
Let me know when you’ve got a headshot,
US Comedy Arts Festival, 2005
In the corner of this condo, by the couches, we have found wireless.
I do not recommend trying to carry a stack of wood and two bags of groceries five blocks, in the snow, in the dark, by yourself. What seemed like a good idea last night became one of the dumbest things I’ve ever attempted. It took twice as long to walk home, as I kept having to stop, put everything down, gain my breath again, and then try to carry all of those things — in gloves — while walking on an icy street. I am dumb. I’ve also never really experienced life with snow. Continue reading
“Wake up, Liz!”
“Happy Aspen to you.”
“It’s like Christmas for Funny!”
I can’t say I wish I had more time to write here, because I’m pretty happy with what is keeping me so busy right now. But it’d be nice to have more time here to write down what life has been like, mostly for me to have later (because this is supposed to be a diary, after all). I’m back at work on the Oxygen show for a few weeks, doing rewrite work on the pilot, and that has been much more fun than I could have predicted. I’m finishing a recap. I’m finishing the latest draft of the WGAW screenplay. I’m working on the book revisions. And in a couple of days I leave for Aspen. Continue reading
My headshot’s all blurry and it kind of sounds like our show’s a girlie downer what with the dead-dad part right there in the description but we’re next to Catherine O’Hara and holy crap this is awesome.
You don’t have to check the time of this post. I’ll tell you. It’s four in the morning.
I’ve learned an important lesson. When you decide to drink more Diet Coke than you have in about a year, it’s best not to do it at eleven at night. I’ve been trying to fall asleep for over four hours. Continue reading
So here’s what it’s like, these days, to be me. It’s what it’s like to live this life, this place where each day is as unpredictable as the next.
This morning we planned our honeymoon around Sundance, because stee and Frank are finalists for the filmmaker’s lab. They won’t know until December 17th if they got in, but we knew if we scheduled the honeymoon at the same time as the lab, they’d be sure to get in. Also we couldn’t make it any later, because we’re waiting to hear what’s going to happen with the Oxygen show, as well as Stee’s own show he’s developing with the WB.
But we are GOING on our HONEYMOON. We’ve been looking forward to it since we got engaged — the possibility of several days of nothing to do, nowhere to go, no phone calls or deadlines. We’ve found a place that’s supposed to be incredibly isolated and quiet and beachy and I’m looking forward to living in my bikini for a few days.
Phone is ringing. Stee’s agent. Continue reading