My mother loves Christmas. Every year it takes about four hours to open all of the gifts. Not because of the amount of presents, but rather because each and every one must be opened separately, and everyone has to admire the gift before moving onto the next one. Breaks have to be taken for coffee and tea, phone calls, restarting the Christmas CD.
One year my mother had it all worked out to where she decided what gift was opened when according to a small number that she had written on the tag of each gift. She held the master list that said what each number corresponded to. So as not to confuse which #7 was mine and which #7 was my sister’s, she had each present with its own unique number.
We couldn’t look at the list because it had all of the gifts written on it.
The problem surfaced when Mom realized that she had made this list late at night, and after the gifts had been wrapped. Thus when she thought #16 was a sweater, it turned out it was batteries for a gift that hadn’t been opened yet. I remember my mother curled around the list on the couch, trying to both decipher her numbers and sheild us from peeking. We would just sit there looking at her and then she’d declare, “Try number eleven.”
looking for love, Pounce.
Bonjour, my good friends.
It iz me, Taylor. I am writing again to update you on zis holiday seazon here in my land. Perhaps you have been wondering how all of thiz holiday brouhaha haz been for me, yes?
Well, let me tell you zomething. I know zat zomewhere in zis house iz treats for me, no? I knew when zey were hidden on top of zee table, so I started rummaging through all of zee bags. I have an idea for zee Best Buy Idea Box: how about smaller bags, no? I got a little lost, and somehow it triggered pamie to know that I was on zee table, and she took zee bagz away from me.
you pick up a few things here and there.
I’m going broke from everyone’s wish lists. It’s way too easy to just click and send. But in any event, thanks to Daniel, Erica and Kim, whose gifts arrived on Friday afternoon. Eric is starting to look jealous.
The weekend was spent shopping, performing, eating, and movie watching. Although none of those things are interesting when you just talk about them chronologically, they are a bit more entertaining when you just look at the lessons I learned from them:
and lack of sleep
Last night was the worst. I think in the beginning of the evening I was talking in my sleep, and I believe Eric and I had a conversation about him escaping from El Salvador because he was considered evil. Shortly thereafter a car alarm went off. And not those nice, polite car alarms where the guy goes running out in the rain apologizing and turning off the little chirps. It was one of those alarms that gives you the total bedlum. WEEE-OOOH! WEEE-OOOH! WEEE-OOOOH! WAAH! WAAH! WAAH! WAAH! PrrrrIIIII! PrrrrrIIIII! PrrrrIIII! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! WEE! WEE! WEE! WEE! WEE!
And then it would shut off. I’d put my head back on the pillow.
WEEE-OOOH! WEEE-OOOH! WEEE-OOOOH! WAAH! WAAH! WAAH! WAAH! PrrrrIIIII! PrrrrrIIIII! PrrrrIIII! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! WooooOOOOOOOIIEEEE! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! Piiiiooooooouuuuu! WEE! WEE! WEE! WEE! WEE!
Eric would get up to shut the window, but the alarm would stop. He’d stare at the window for a second, decide it was all over, and get back into bed.
strangers with bjork
She was hilarious, wasn’t she?
Wow. Check this out:
I had just sent off The Mighty Kymm’s Christmas present using her amazon.com wish list, when a box arrived from Amazon for me yesterday. I assumed it was something that I had bought for Eric, so I went into the other room to open it.
oh yeah. i’m sorry. that’s christmas.
My, oh my. It’s already Christmas time. That means it’s almost the year 2000. What’s Conan gonna do with his sketch? “In the year 2001” doesn’t really have the same ring.
This also means it’s time to send out my Christmas cards. Last year I had a great time exchanging them with you guys. The bad news? I changed jobs. I lost just about every address you guys sent in. The good news? I want you to send them again. If you want to exchange Holiday Greetings, send me your address. Huzzah!