Pamela Ribon

Category: Pamie

  • “Wait. Am I me, or am I a hooker in Mexico?”

    Last night at dinner, as the waiter was bringing our cocktails, he asked, “And are you two having a wonderful Valentine’s Day?” There was about a two-second pause before stee and I said at the same time, “No.” The waiter said, “Well, then here are your drinks, and I’ll just keep them coming.”

  • The Eighth Annual Valentine’s Day Poems

    Don’t be afraid to love them. Dear Hipster Valentine o’ Mine. Your t-shirts aren’t funny. And I hate your blog. I’m dumping your emo ass, But I’m keeping the dog.

  • do it for johnny.

    I never thought it’d be so easy for you to download audio proof of my dorkitude that ends with the sound of me watching one of my most beloved childhood treasures get destroyed. No, really, I wigged out. Like… a lot. Kind of inappropriately. I may have called for the destruction of a vineyard. I’d…

  • fantastic.

    I didn’t get to see the concert last night. It was sold out. I got home relatively early (we even joked about it when we all went our separate ways, how it was pretty early to be so exhausted), and went to sleep. I have tickets for the opera for today. Robert Wilson’s Madame Butterfly.…

  • while waiting on the check.

    [scripty] Pam All my W-2’s came, and it turns out I worked seven jobs last year. Tim I know. It’s crazy. Some of them, I can’t even tell what job it was. “PPI.” Hey, just put “Carlos,” so I know where the hell this money’s from. Just one word. “Hooker.” Kyle You got a W-2…

  • they walk alike, they talk alike, sometimes they even… (nevermind.)

    When my friend Rebecca and I are out in public, we are sometimes mistaken for sisters. In fact, when Dan, his brother Adam, Rebecca and I are sitting at a restaurant together, we look like an East Side version of the Bobbsey Twins: the boys in their ringer t-shirts, Rebecca and I in blue hoodies…

  • i’m awesome.

    Home alone on a Friday night. Two cats sleeping next to me. Gilmore Girls paused on TiVo. The episode aired January 10th. I’m a little behind in my television watching. I am smelly. I got home from work at 7:45 and proceeded to eat the biggest cheeseburger I’ve had since I left Texas.

  • quickly

    I’m waiting for Dan to get here because we’re about to go for a very long run. I don’t know if I’d do it if Dan weren’t coming over. He’s a big motivator, for more than just what he’s done over the past month, on this restrictive diet that would cause most of us to…

  • blood, sweat and tears

    Which of the following things didn’t happen to me this past weekend? A) Cried at a museum. B) Ran seven miles. C) Met someone in a hot tub who knew Dan from college. D) Held Sara’s head as blood gushed down her face. E) Stayed at home, finishing my book edits. Then went to the…

  • truth and consequences

    Thursday night. My husband is screaming at the television screen: “Fuck you, Oprah. Fuck you!” This is not good. This isn’t something I ever thought I’d have to handle. This goes against the core of me, and my instinct is to push him off the couch and make him stop bad-mouthing my Oprah. It’s like…