Pam moved. I’ve been moving. But now I’m done moving. Oh, wait. No, I’m not. I just spent five days at the hippie wedding of two of my best friends in rural central Oregon, three hours from the nearest international airport. Five days of swimmin’ in the ol’ swimmin’ hole and whitewater rafting and spending…

Awwwww, hee hee hee. It might not be moral. It might not be safe. Hell, it might not be legal. What I do know is, I just got me a new t-shirt.

…to adequately explain what his night at Scores was like.  It was like a strip club.  Where titties are.  Totally my kind of environment.  TOTALLY. My friend Wendy tells of it better than I ever could.  What with the pictures and all. Ew.

I wrote a Fametracker piece!  Do enjoy it.

Yeah, this pretty much feels like my fault, too.

You’ll see this elsewhere. Hell, I’ve already posted this elsewhere. But, I mean, come ON: Dem Picks Gephardt As VP Candidate Come ON, New York Post. You get to report. You DO NOT GET TO DECIDE. The conspiracy-loving part of me says that they did this on purpose so they could tell us later that…

Sometimes it just makes sense to have a song stuck in your head all day. Yesterday, it was this one. It’s a very good song.

You guys, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do it. But I did. I killed Brando. I killed him badder than you think. For you see, in the conversation I had with Tracie yesterday that was universally embraced as the best blog entry of its time, we spoke of Brando, but we spoke of…

Tracie: poor Brando. Dan: can you believe? Tracie: i know you’re busy, but i had to tell you that i just finished the fametracker blue moons piece about demi moore, and that it almost made me pee my pants. Dan: that thing almost killed me. Tracie: jolt cola. man. Dan: they’re very clever. Tracie: and…

Yes. I still work here. And I intend, despite my shamefully lengthy absence, to walk around like I own the damn place. It’s been a really busy couple of weeks capped off by a horrific last few days. Were I to have posted, it would have read, “Wrote recap. Wrote recap. Wrote recap. Bought Swiffer.…