Garry Shandling Gets Shitty Seats.

The Osbournes – It used to be that when Ozzy got a motorcycle, nobody told him how to turn it on. Unfortunate foreshadowing, there. In this episode, Jack gets his friends to give him their penises, while Sharon tries to tell D.L. Hughley from L. Ron Hubbard. And enjoy this one, as it’s the last.…

stee called me at work last night. “I just got a forwarded email from your friend Andi… and it’s something you wrote. But your name isn’t on it.” “What do you mean?” “It’s your Don’t Date Actors entry, and according to this email it’s been forwarded everywhere, with Matthew Sturges listed as the writer.” “Awesome.”…

I am now anonymous Joke Spam. What do I do with this information?

It’s Paris Hilton’s book proposal. “I love to buy as many gossip magazines as possible… reading everything in the world that’s possibly been written about me. Then I take a nap, wake up, and read scripts, check my laptop, take personal notes, write in my diary, and maybe do some work on my next book.”…

I’m sure you don’t want your site to become a haven for people begging for things for their pet causes, but I know you’ve done a lot of good for the Oakland library, and are now helping get the word out about Philly. Here in Detroit, we had an incident of vandalism at the Detroit…

I spent most of the weekend either sleeping, eating with friends, writing or rehearsing. It doesn’t make for very good journal fodder. I’m working on a show with a friend of mine. Those of you who have written to ask for the details — I’ll share them when I have more to say about it.…