Month: July 2003

  • Hi, Steve! …um…uh…

    What have we learned about me in the almost three years I’ve lived in Los Angeles? We’ve learned that I still don’t understand how television works. We’ve learned that even though they may have taped a segment for The New Tom Green Show this afternoon in Burbank, it may not air until tomorrow or the…

  • Hi, Steve!

    Look. The show, it will not die. So tonight, at midnight, on The New Tom Green Show, you can see Megyn Price and Tom Green perform a small piece from Call Us Crazy: The Anne Heche Monologues. Go ahead and be speechless. I am. I’m wearing a sweater. I’ve caught a cold, but I’m very…

  • Updates and Library Talk

    Hi. This isn’t going to be the update of my book tour, as I’m right smack dab in the middle of it, so I’m without my normal computer (as evidenced by the fact that I accidentally deleted some pages of my site trying to make this entry. web2ftp.com now only has their interface in German…

  • School’s In

    I made a huge mistake in launching a Pop Culture School right before leaving on my two-week book tour. I realize that now. But luckily most of you are either fully cultured, or are too scared to reach out to help. This means I’ve gotten very few questions. I’m just going to answer all of…

  • Poppin’, Lockin’, Breakin’ My Neck

    It happens pretty frequently here in Los Angeles. There’s someone whose work you admire, and then someone immediately tells you why you have to hate that person. Many times you can blow it off as rumor, but when one of your stand-up friends says without provocation, “Oh, I can’t watch Last Comic Standing. Ralphie May?…

  • Signed, Sealed, Delivered

    Signed, Sealed, Delivered

    People showed up! Huzzah! I had a really great time at the signing on Saturday, and learned that my book, when read over a microphone and amp near children browsing Harry Potter, is incredibly dirty. I didn’t even realize my potty mouth until I eventually had to read the Hugh Grant entry just to keep…

  • Caterwauling

    I do not know what is wrong with my cat. Cal has taken to wailing in the middle of the night. He howls as if he’s on fire, running around the house in the dark, for about an hour. It starts at six in the morning, and many times this week I’ve gotten up, carried…

  • Finally: a Stupid Question

    Sunday night, Henry Fonda Theater, Rilo Kiley. Same band, same place, different celeb. This time I didn’t fondle Jake Gyllenhaal’s arm in a doorway. This time, in the same doorway, I was staring at Paul Rudd. It’s a magical doorway, folks. Try and stand in it, and the boys — they just appear. But my…

  • Picnic

    The idea was simple enough. I wanted to spend part of my Fourth of July like any other American — outside, with a book, eating some food. Some call it a picnic. Back in Texas, we’d call it a cookout. I didn’t need anything fancy. I didn’t even need open flame to cook over. I…