and why carnie wilson saved my life Yesterday’s Oprah was just amazing. “Thin People That Used To Be Fat.” Ol’ Carnie out there freaking out about how she used to be too big to live and now she’s thin and lives off a pool of water every day and she doesn’t miss having an organ…

i hate everything Just in case you’ve been living under a rock: The Squishy Store is open for businessI never watch soaps but one’s on right now while I’m waiting for Oprah and I think I just heard the worst line reading ever for, “Hey, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you…

God, I’m annoying. First of all, oh man. I don’t know if you’ve already seen the new button on the sidebar, but just in case you haven’t, and just in case haven’t heard me bitching and moaning and just in case you haven’t been one of the ones asking me about it: The Squishy Store…

and letting go You meet for drinks. Conversation. You both have the rare free night. You meet to catch up. You find that you don’t have as much time to spend together anymore. On one hand this is good because you’re supposed to be focused on yourself right now. On the other hand, you feel…

i make excuses and see into your soul Grown Up Week has spilled over into this week. I ended up not taking the driving test or registering my car because I had to find my birth certificate and car title. I have too many pieces of important paper that I lump in with unimportant pieces…

the los angeles kind I’ve been trying to make this Grown Up Week, where I take care of all the grown-up things I have to do. I was going to get my new driver’s license, registration, insurance, get my oil changed and my smog check — basically do everything I’ve been putting off for too…

we’re good roommates Ray and I had auditions this morning. They took a long time and went well. They took so long, in fact, that at one point I realized that the only person that could give a good read for the monologue they handed me was Jeff. So I called him in New York…

the comedy line leader I missed my first comedy class while I was in Austin. I mean, it’s the first time I’ve missed since I started taking them. And I started feeling ill once I got back to LA and I had this show but I missed the last class, so I decided last night…

my huge world Thursday was spent in a coma. After six days of partying, visiting, driving, walking, laughing and drinking, my body was done. I was tired. I couldn’t stay awake at all. And the strange thing is I kept dreaming about all of my friends. It was like I hadn’t left at all. And…

fuck the palladium Dear Weezer, Hey, thanks for booking your latest show at the Palladium. Really, it couldn’t have been a more learning experience. See, I go see you guys all the damn time. All the time. This was my fourth time this year, and I already have tickets for your next show in April.…