Lessons

quickly, since it’s wednesday.

I am learning things left and right, here. Perhaps my new knowledge will help you guys out.

no one wants your old ass computer

I would think that at least pawn shops would. Nope. They don’t want anything to do with it. They don’t know how to service it and they don’t want to resell it. Computer shops that buy old computers basically tell you that you’re not going to get any money for a monitor, machine, printer, scanner, and three hundred dollars worth of software. Your friends will think about buying it, but then change their minds when they realize that every time the computer breaks they will curse your name. When you do end up convincing a pawn shop to buy it, you’re gonna have to haggle. Then you’ll have to set up the computer. Then the computer won’t work because it’s mad at you. Then you have to start speaking crazy geek talk to make the pawn shop people think they’re getting a better system than you actually have.

But when you do finally sell that thing, the feeling is great. It’s all gone. Out of your life. Did you remember to delete everything?

cats aren’t easy to fly

They need health records. Those are only good for ten days. Don’t schedule the vet appointment at the ten day mark. They tell you that it’s not going to be accepted and that you have to come back later in the week. When the cat is twenty pounds, you might have to put it on a diet to fit under the seat. They don’t let you give the kitties sleepy drugs anymore, and you might not want to break it to your friends this early that the only drug you can give the kitty is some dramamine. You already feel bad for the other passengers on the plane. You have to buy carriers, get their vaccinations all caught up and you have to pay for airline tickets for each cat. You also have to give your friends some sort of food and litter so they can take care of the cat while you’re in a car for LA and they’re having to wait for the flight.

starbucks can sometimes let you down

When you realize the only thing that’s going to make your day better is to get some coffee and you walk over to the Starbucks counter and the guy is sitting on a stool surrounded by handwritten notes that say “NO COFFEE. NO HOT WATER”– they don’t like it when you start crying at the counter.

you can’t outsmart your cat like you do your younger sister

I’ve mentioned that Cal’s new thing is to bite the hell out of my feet. He does it every morning now. He goes foot by foot, four feet in a row, making us yell and shoot out of bed. My sleepy instinct is to kick the hell out of him because he is hurting me and won’t stop. If you move him, he strikes back like a cobra. If you push him off the bed, he jumps back up and bites your hand or your arm. If you lock him out of the room, he makes incredibly loud noises. You can’t win.

My sleep-induced sadness convinced myself that if I pretended I was dead, or that I didn’t care that he was biting my feet that he’d lose interest and stop. THAT DOESN’T WORK. The “how to deal with a flame war” best defense does nothing when dealing with a cat. My feet are now covered in small bite marks. I really really really don’t like that cat today. I hope this move calms his ass down. He’s been out of control for over a month now, and it’s just getting worse. Next to my friend Martha, I am one of the cat-lovingest people I know. I know Cal was sent to test me. But I don’t think I’m strong enough.

you can only procrastinate for so long

Eventually you will run out of toilet paper and you will have to go back to the store.

fed ex will come the fifteen minutes you are not in the house.

too much japanese is a bad thing.

I am up to my ears in work to do this week and I’m also swamped in writing deadlines. I can’t really pass on any of them, since it’s how I’m getting money these days. I’m also worried that I might not get everything packed up in time.

happy birthday, michelle

Not a lesson, just something that’s happening today.

mighty big tv loves you

And I have a new Gilmore Girls recap up.

you sometimes have to take a break

When you’ve been typing for ten hours and you’ve got another five to go, it’s probably best to go out for an hour or so. You know you’ll have a good time.

this week is going by too quickly

I wish I had more time.

Leave a Reply