Manson Lamps

rambling and crazy lady discussions

If VH-1 is going to continue to produce such addictive content, I may never do a lick of work again. I mean, come on “1984 Behind the Music?” I can’t resist that. And all this week there’s some sort of “Video Killed the Radio Star” thing about the evolution of the music video. I’m trying to work at night, people! I’ll never get anything done if smack-dab in the middle of high productivity time there’s a potential for a Wham! video. I’m only human, you know.

The coldest place on Earth is my office today. I’m freezing. It’s 90 degrees outside (hey,what happened to 98 degrees?) and it’s about 58 in here.

Someone posted the ILOVEYOU virus to the forum thread concerning it, so I had to delete the entire thread. My apologies to the notify list that got that lovely opened attachment in their inbox.

Mighty Big TV fans, there’s a contest up. I can’t give you any hints. You wouldn’t want them anyway, as I can only identify one quote without any uncertainty. But there’s a TV/VCR in it for ya, if you’re interested. I’m also taking this moment to brag that “Get Real” and “Ally McBeal” are winning all of their nominated Embie slots. I officially recap the two most offensively wretched shows on television. Yeah, you so want to be me.

And I may have signed my own death certificate by taking on the Dawson’s Creek spin-off “Young Americans” this summer. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Today begins the Weeks Of Sporadic Updating, as I’m going to be alternately swamped with work and busy with travel. Please try and be patient as I flit around here and there. I’ll try to keep the updates coming, but I’m not making any promises, since I have no idea what kind of time I’m going to have.

Had a great time with Eric’s mom this weekend, but as always, she wasn’t here long enough. I miss her.

My class is over. The kids finished their pages. You sure can tell who liked the class and who really didn’t care at all. They made me tired. One girl spent half of the day squealing about how she finally understood everything, and how much she “loved coding.” The other girls couldn’t understand why she would be that excited.

On their evaluations, under “What would you keep about this class for next time?” they all wrote “the teachers.” Aw. (sniff!)

I wrote a new web head about Corporate America’s obsession with t-shirts.

Last night while waiting for company to arrive, Eric and I watched a part of a Juliette Lewis movie. It really doesn’t matter which one. I declared it Juliette Lewis night, and you had to talk real slow and lean on things while you did it.

[scripty]
ERIC
You know, I look at her, and all I can think is “Crazy Druggie Woman.”

PAMIE
I know.

ERIC
I’m sure she’s played other parts, though.

PAMIE
Sometimes she’s retarded.

ERIC
Great.
[/scripty]

It reminded me of a discussion we had at a restaurant about a month ago. We were giggling about “The Sopranos” when Tony yells at Ritchie to “Don’t start with those Manson Lamps.” And then they just showed Ritchie staring at Tony for like ten seconds. One of the best moments of the season.

[scripty]
ERIC
Show me your Manson Lamps.

PAMIE
Okay, you ready?

ERIC
Yeah.

PAMIE
Here.

ERIC
Are you doing it?

PAMIE
Yeah.

ERIC
That’s pretty bad.

PAMIE
No, don’t I look like a crazy person?

ERIC
No, you still look pretty friendly. You look like you’re trying to tell me I’ve got food on my chin.

PAMIE
No, I want to have that ability in my eyes. You know how some people have that look and you can look in their eyes and you think, “Clearly, they’re crazy.” I want to be able to look crazy now and then. I think it would help with self-defense. Look, don’t I look crazy when I look at you like this?

ERIC
Seriously, is there food on my chin?

PAMIE
No! This is my crazy-lady look. Don’t I look just dangerously crazy?

ERIC
You look confused.

PAMIE
This is because you know me. You know I’m not really crazy.

ERIC
I was going to say–

PAMIE
Shut up.

ERIC
You’re right. It’s because I know you.

PAMIE
Here. I’ll try it on the waiter when he walks over for the order. Check it out. You order for me, and I’ll just give him the Manson Lamps.

ERIC
Okay.

WAITER
Have you guys decided?

PAMIE
Um-hmm.

ERIC
Uh…. yeah…. uh, I’m going to have the Katz’ Pride, and she’ll have the number fifteen. Sorry.

PAMIE
And…fries.

WAITER
Right.

PAMIE
So, how was that?

ERIC
Well, that was a few things, but it wasn’t Manson Lamps.

PAMIE
What are you talking about?

ERIC
You didn’t look like you were crazy.

PAMIE
My eyes didn’t say, “Don’t fuck with me?”

ERIC
No. Quite the opposite. Your eyes said “Fuck me.”

PAMIE
Really?

ERIC
Yes. I hope our meal is free.

PAMIE
Not crazy?

ERIC
No. Horny.

PAMIE
What about this?

ERIC
Something in your eye.

PAMIE
This?

ERIC
Lonely.

PAMIE
This?

ERIC
Bemused resignation.

PAMIE
Dammit!

ERIC
How’s mine?

PAMIE
You do kinda look like a crazy lady.

ERIC
Ha.

PAMIE
I can’t believe I can’t do “crazy lady.” I have a BFA in acting, for God’s sake.

ERIC
Watch me. Here. How’s this?

PAMIE
It doesn’t matter. Who cares? I can’t do “crazy lady.”

ERIC
Maybe you’re just such a good crazy lady that I can’t tell anymore and your regular glare is Manson Lamps and I just keep thinking that it’s you being friendly.

PAMIE
Quit your sweet talking.

ERIC
Hey, what are you getting me for birthday week?

PAMIE
(sigh)

ERIC
Oh. Did I just give you a headache in your eye?

PAMIE
You sure did. It might be from all of the staring, though. Because of YOU!

ERIC
Nope. You still look friendly and approachable.

PAMIE
Damn.
[/scripty]

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