The Quick One

grammys and hissyfits

Oh, man. I’m just surrounded in work this week, guys. Sorry about the neglect.

The Grammys. What the hell do I know, really?

Steely Dan. U2. Joni Mitchell.

You can’t win a Grammy without Medicaid.

And there’s something wrong with your awards show if you have so many performances you don’t have time for the awards. There’s another problem if you have so many performances that you have to put Blue Man Group with Moby. They didn’t even do the Male Pop awards. Not that any of us had even heard that Sting song, anyway.

And we can all sleep easier knowing that “Who Let the Dogs Out” is an award-winning song. I think we all can, right?

There was no time for Rage Against the Machine to get their award.

There wasn’t even time for these three:

Rock Song: “With Arms Wide Open,” Scott Stapp and Mark Tremonti (Creed).

Rock Album: “There Is Nothing Left to Lose,” Foo Fighters.

Alternative Music Album: “Kid A,” Radiohead.

That’s sad. Not that I wanted to see Creed, but… yeah, I wanted to see Creed. I had bought all sorts of heavy things to throw at the screen.

[scripty]LENNY KRAVITZ
I won? Wait. I won a Grammy? I beat out Henley? Wow. In retrospect, I guess I should have gotten out of bed and actually gone to the awards, huh? Nah.And I just want to find Jon Stewart and hold him until all of the pain goes away.[/scripty]

It seems unfair that Dolly Parton could win Best Bluegrass. I mean, the damn thing is called “The Grass is Blue.” How can anyone else compete with that?

I hated the cameras and the editing. I couldn’t even see Madonna sing her opening number. Why was everything shot from the seats in the front row?

I was so angry when the awards were over that I was fuming. Fuming. I shouldn’t be fuming after an awards show.

Steely Dan’s win now beats the miscarriage of justice known as Jethro Tull’s Finest Moment.

Forget it. I’m pissy and I’ve got too much work to do today.

Later on today you can catch my Popstars recap. I don’t think I’ll be able to post tomorrow, so use that recap as my entry for tomorrow. It’s taken me about ten hours to do.

My latest Hissyfit is up. It’s the one about Barbra.

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