it’s been like this all week

Okay.  Okay.  Okay.
This time I’m just gonna fall right to sleep.

But I’m not tired.

Shutup, you.  You’re going to sleep.

Not tired.

You’re exhausted.

But not tired.

Think of happy quiet things.
Think of Eric sweeping back your hair and kissing your forehead.
Think of lazy Sunday mornings.
Think…

Hey, did you finish your Get Real recap?

Yes.

Did you remember to put in the part about Meghan being a Bratty-Bratty-Two-By-Four?

No.  Shit.  I forgot.

We should go do that now.

No.  Later.
Sleep now.

Oooookay…. but you’re gonna forget.

Leave me alone.

I’m just saying.

Shut.  Up.

Fine.  Fine.  Sorry.
….
….
….
My arms hurt.

It’s from the Tae-Bo.

Yeah, that Advanced Live Six sure was an ass-kicker, huh?

Yes.

And Shelley has completely lost it, man.  Remember how she
was all screaming and yelling like a cheerleader?

Yes.

Remember how she was all “It’s up to me!” during the song?

Yes.

Man… she’s lost it.

Good night!

…..
…..
…..
….
….
Come on ride the train.
A-ride it!
Come on ride the train.
A-ride it!
WOO-WOO!  chugga chugga
WOO-WOO!  chugga chugga
i think i can i think i can i think i can i think i can

What are you doing?

Remember?  That was the song where Shelley was all, “It’s up to me!”

Yes, I remember.

And then she was all, “I think I can!  I think I can!”

It was like six hours ago.  I remember.

Really?  What time is it?

After three.

Wow.  That’s late.  We gotta get up soon.

I know.

Huh.  Late.  Late at night.
You might as well just stay up.

No.

I’m itchy.

Shut up.

My legs itch.
And my arm.
Ooh, that weird back spot itches.
My hands itch.
My feet itch.
I’m itchy.

Now, look, you made me wake up Eric with all of the squirming.

Look at that.  He went right back to sleep.

Show off.

You know, you forgot to write in Squishy how much you liked that
book Kathy Hepinstall sent you.  She’s a really good writer.

I know.

You really liked it, remember?

Yes.

And you also forgot to make that link over to Erica’s site
when she showed you how you were psychic.

I’ll do it tomorrow.

Promise?

Yes.

Sure?

Yes.

Because we could do it now.

I want to sleep.

But I’m not tired.

I hate you.
I’m gonna start crying soon.

Don’t Cry Out Loud!
Just keep it inside!
And learn how to hide your feelings.
FLY HIGH AND PROOOOOOUD!
And if you should fall….
Remember you ALMOST HAD IT ALLLLLL!

I will cut you out of my head, I swear to God.

I miss Karaoke.

I am crying here.  Do you see this?  I wish you would just let me sleep.
I really do.

I’m sorry.
I’m just up.
Oh.
Oh.

What?

Well, you got sad and now I’m sad.
But I’m thinking of terrible things.
What if Eric doesn’t wake up?

Oh, my God, SHUT UP!
I cannot believe you are still not shutting up!
Why would you want me thinking about that?

I’m just saying, at least you are here during his final moments.

SHUT UP SHUT UP!

I’m hungry.

I’m gonna kiss the back of his neck.

That cat keeps licking my feet.  That tickles.

I like the way Eric smells.

I’m all itchy and hot.
There’s too many covers.
They’re all tangled around my legs.
Damn!  I’m so uncomfortable!
HIIII!  Heee!

I’ll just put my arm around him and fall asleep.

You really should pay your bills.

I’ll practice some breathing exercises.
Four and a half years of acting school should teach me something about breathing, right?

And rent is due tomorrow.

Just inhale.
And exhale.
Just inhale.
And exhale.

BREATHE IN!
BREATHE OUT!
BREATHE IN!
BREATHE OUT!
BREATHE IN!

And ignore, and relax.

Why do I know so many songs that I can’t stand?
I shouldn’t know all of the words to “Come Out and Play.”

Relax that fist.
Relex my clenched toes.
Why is my hand in a fist?

And I’d like to buy Beth Hart a damn plane ticket
if it meant she’d stop wailing about getting out of L.A.

Just keep breathing.

And if hating that new Destiny’s Child song is wrong,
then I don’t want to be right.

It’s a total rip-off of “Going Back To Cali.”

Right, but it fucking grooves, yo!

It’s “Going Back to Cali” beat by beat with a different rap over it.

So?

So?  You’re grooving to L.L. Cool J.  Not Destiny’s Child.

And she ain’t got the junk in her trunk
or the groove of her funk

I don’t think that’s how it goes.

So?I.
Don’t.
Think.
You.
Do.
Sooooo
You.
And.
Me.
Are.
Through.

But I hated–

You’ll be sayin’ no, no, no, no, no
When it’s really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You’ll be sayin’ no, no, no, no, no
When it’s really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You’ll be sayin’ no, no, no, no, no
When it’s really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You’ll be sayin’ no, no, no, no, no
When it’s really yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You love Destiny’s Child.

No, I don’t!

You’re gonna buy the album.

I’m not.

You are.

Why am I arguing with you about Destiny’s Child at four in the damn morning?  I want some sleep!
Leave me alone!

You.
And.
Me.
Are.
Through.

Muurrrrrr ih! ih! ih! Oh, not you, too.

MEH.  Miih.

What?  WHAT?

HIH!  HEEEIH!  HUH!  HINH!

Oh, shit.  Shit.

Quick!  Get a newspaper to put under him!

I’m not going to stand there in the dark and wait for him to throw up.

HIIIIIIH!  HEEE!  HIH-HIH!

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

HIH!  HIH!  HEEIH!

I am so damn tired.

……..
…….
…….
…….
Hey, wake up!
You’re late!
You’re late!
YOU’RE LATE FOR WORK AND NOW YOUR FIRED!

Huh?
What?
Jesus!

I’m just kidding.
It’s only five in the morning.

Dammit!
I had just fallen asleep.
Why did you do that?

I have to pee.

Dammit.

……
…..
….
Okay, it’s really morning now.

Yes?

No.

Fucker.

…….
…..

..
.
Hey, did we?

Shut.  Up.

Oh, I didn’t know you were asleep.  Sorry.I.
Don’t.
Think.
You.
Do.
Sooooo
You.
And.
Me.
Are.
Through.
……
……
…..

..

MEEH!  MI-mrrrrrrr MIR-MIR-MIR!

What time is it?

Feeding time, apparently.

I’m sleeping in.

MEEH!  MEEH!  MI!  MEI!  MEEHH!  MEEEEH!

I guess I’m UP THEN!
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

Gosh, somebody’s cranky.

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