don’t mess with my phone service

Attention Texans: Do not sign up for AT&T Local Service. They will jack your ass around. They lied to me repeatedly, and I’ve spent over nine hours of my life waiting for the Next Available Representative. They said that I wouldn’t even notice the switch from Southwestern Bell to AT&T. I asked five different representatives if specifically my Call Notes would be affected. Each one said no. They assured me that it would be a seamless switch.

So I switched. I have now been without Call Notes since before Christmas. I have lost countless messages. I cannot express how angry I am at this company right now. I am, in fact, on hold right now. The last time I finally got in touch with someone (call number ten placed in three weeks), they told me that they have their own system for Call Notes and that I should have lost my Call Notes service, would have to wait another week to be set up with the new one, and then be charged an additional ten dollars to get the new Call Notes activated.

LIARS!

After much yelling, they offered some free long distance minutes and offered to help me “right away.” They said that all of my troubles would be resolved January 17th (yesterday) and that I should be able to set up my brand-spanking new Call Notes mailbox on that day.

LIARS!

So, here I am, on hold again, probably for another hour, while I wait to tell them that yet again they have continued to screw me over in service and promises. They lost my account at one point (they blamed it on Y2K, if you can believe that) and told me that not only could they not provide me with the service the contract stated, they couldn’t let me go back to Southwestern Bell because there was no record of me anywhere. I was in telephone limbo without Call Notes. Now they know where I am, but they still haven’t provided me with the services they offered and refuse to switch me back (free of charge) to the service that I was on before they came in and ruined my telephone life.

LIARS!

I thought I’d be safe with the big guy. I thought Big Company would put me under its wing and allow me to fade back into telephone anonymity. I thought this was going to solve all of my problems and give me Call Notes, Caller ID, and long distance all on one easy phone bill.

LIARS!

I have put in almost a full work week with these people. At one point I was on hold with one AT&T representative who was on hold with another AT&T representative. The first representative told me (after a full hour and a half) that it was time to give up waiting for someone to reach us and that I should probably just start over again the next day. This is out of control.

I asked for a phone number to complain. They don’t have one. I’ve asked to speak to a duty manager. One girl asked why I needed a duty manager and asked for my name. After I told her she told me they didn’t have duty managers.

LIARS!

Then I spoke with a different duty manager. He offered me some long distance minutes. He told me that the original people who told me that my Call Notes wouldn’t be affected, who I spoke with after receiving an offer letter from AT&T, were telemarketers, so he cannot control what they said to me, but that they were deceiving me.

Then I decided to write another sentence with lots of commas. Jesus, these guys get me so riled up I can’t even write.

He said they couldn’t waive the fee to set up their own Call Notes, even though I was told that I wouldn’t be switching from my original Call Notes. He said the telemarketers lied, and that it wasn’t his fault, and therefore I would have to pay the connection fee. He said that the telemarkers would be sending me a letter of apology. I told him that it’s his company they represent, so I don’t want to hear from a group of telemarketers, I want to hear from AT&T. When he said there was nothing else he could do I asked for a higher-up to complain to. Get this– it was an address. For a different company. AT&T apparently gets so many complaints, that they ship their complaints to a different company to handle them. You cannot complain to AT&T. You complain to a company whose job it is to listen to people complain.

People of Texas! You will receive a letter in the mail asking you to switch to AT&T for your local service plan. DO NOT DO IT! IT IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

I’m still on hold, for those of you curious.

Here are a couple of links for your Creepy folder:

Yeeeh. Creee-peee. It’s like those dolls are gonna kill me.

Yo!

And thanks to Melty I too much money at Delia’s today. I hadn’t even planned on shopping. But it’s quite a sale.

I finally got through to AT&T, and right now the rep is reading over my file. It is taking her well over five minutes to read everything on my account, which I’m sure includes choice phrases like, “Ungrateful bitch” and “Miserable Shithead.” Hey man, I worked in customer service. I know what they think of me. I’m on hold for the fourth time while they “verify” which I’m sure means, “That Austin bitch called back. What do we tell her this time?”

What I find so annoying about AT&T’s customer service is that the representatives have to follow a script. That means that no matter what I say, they follow their script. It often goes like this:

[scripty]
PAMIE
78741. And this is the eleventh time I’ve called, so —

AT&T REP
Thank you for giving us that information, now what can I help you with?

PAMIE
This is the eleventh time I’ve called, and now I’m trying to get someone to explain what is happening with my service.

AT&T REP
We would like to thank you for choosing AT&T for your local and long distance service, and I’d like to be able to assist you.

PAMIE
Really? Because the last girl said that to me, but I think she says that to everyone.

AT&T REP
I’m sorry?

PAMIE
Nothing.

AT&T REP
What can I help you with?

PAMIE
I’m checking on the status of my order, as I’ve been waiting for Call Notes for about a month.

AT&T REP
Please hold.
[/scripty]

This is followed by a transfer and then I have to answer those questions again. Transfer, questions. Transfer, questions. Finally someone will tell me that everything has been ordered and I just need to wait until (insert new date). I’m so tired of this. Screw AT&T, man. I’m so angry I can’t even stand it.

I’m still on hold. That was with making all of those tags for the dialogue. It takes a while to type dialogue in html, man. I can’t believe I’m still on hold.

And why does all on-hold music have to be calypso? Is there a law?

My only solace is the cup of Caramel Macchiato I picked up half an hour ago. It misses cigarettes, though.

I finally got through and was told that they would refer my account to their Satisfaction department who will call me in the next couple of days and let me know why my service is all jacked. They will investigate my account. So, what’s the answer? They don’t know when I’ll have Call Notes, but if I’m this unhappy they can waive the connection fee for the Call Notes since I’ve been waiting for a month. I’m not stopping until I get a free month of service. I mean, what’s twenty-five dollars to AT&T?

Enough. Enough of the lies. LIES!

Anyone care to find out who is going to Aspen, since it isn’t me or my friends? Didn’t think so.

Okay, I’ve kicked myself while I was down long enough, dammit. Eric says he’s really proud of my sucess in quitting smoking. I think it’s because I haven’t been yelling at him, like I did last time. The last time I tried to quit I was a miserable beast. I was all crying and yelling and I was jealous of people who weren’t trying to quit. I thought about cigarettes all of the time. It really hasn’t been too bad this time. I was really sick. Whenever I start thinking about smoking I just remember how horrible I felt when I couldn’t breathe and my lungs were all wheezy and heavy. Pretty much stops me from smoking. But I’m such a chatterbox now.

And I use really annoying words like “Chatterbox.”

I’m like an outcast from Peggy Sue Got Married.

Becca pointed out that the last time I had quit I started again because I had convinced myself that I was a better person when I smoked. She’s right. She then pointed out that I had started doing that again. She’s right. I start looking for reasons that I should smoke and I come up with lame ones like, “But you like me better that way, don’t you?” I think she thinks that my “chatterbox” routine is all an act. I do wish it was. I’m a maniac.

I’m more productive, though, so there’s that. I’m also a freak.

Becca’s right. I just need to shutup about all of it and just keep not smoking. I’m saving money. That’s why I went and bought that stuff from Delia’s today. I bought as much stuff as I saved not buying cigarettes this month. It was enough to get more than a sweater and a skirt. Good for me.

My Paul’s Boutique CD keeps skipping. That just sucks.

Mike just wrote to me and asked when I’m going to start writing about turning twenty-five this year. Thanks, Mike. Way to kick a sister while she’s down. Anyone else wanna get involved? There are still slots available for “weird,” “not funny,” “limp hair,” and “living in sin.”