getting to know you

or rather, me

I had to get up very early this morning to take a class at work. This has ruined my stomach. For some reason if I wake up at seven in the morning, then I have to have breakfast on my way to work or I’m crabby. But then after I eat my stomach is all upset because I normally don’t eat anything until three in the afternoon or so. And then I’m all hungry right around noon and I think, “Well, gee, I haven’t eaten.” And then I eat lunch and then I remember that I just had breakfast four hours earlier, and then the next thing I know I’ve eaten twice as much as I would have normally eaten in one day and I know that when I get home I’m going to want dinner.

So I can’t work an early shift schedule or I’ll turn into a big fat fatty.

Oh, and I just couldn’t sleep last night. Not at all. I just kept starting at the ceiling. I think Eric couldn’t fall asleep either. Usually I listen to the sound of him sleeping to help me sleep. His light snore lulls me to sleep as I match my breathing with his. But last night he was tossing and turning as much as I was. I kept waking up every hour on the hour and my brain was convinced I hadn’t gone to sleep yet. Oh, it was so frustrating. And then, just before my alarm would have gone off, I woke up from a nightmare. It was this nightmare that Howard Stern was my father and he kept making me go up this ladder so he could look at my butt and then I got trapped on this higher level of the house and I couldn’t get down and everyone who tried to help me would slip and fall and die and I was looking down at a dead twisted Howard Stern. So I couldn’t go back to sleep to get my remaining three minutes of precious slumber, and I was all shaking from the bad dream and my brain thought that I only had gotten one hour of sleep…

so i was a little cranky.

And as I rolled over to get out of the bed, I re-set the alarm for a few hours ahead for Eric. The second my butt left the covers Eric whipped around into full cocoon mode and pulled all of the covers around his body, swooped out his arms and pulled all of the pillows close to his head, and he smiled and I swear I heard a throaty laugh come out of him.

I wish I understood taxes better. If you do contractual work for someone and it pays less than a certain amount, do you have to claim it? No one seems to know. ih.

Oh, so I wanted to share a few exceptional e-mails I have received recently. Some people just know how to turn a phrase and write straight from the heart, you know? Like these I received in response to my girliestyle article:

Subject: perve

why don’t you send me a naughty e-mail since you’re into sex!!

I don’t know why I’ve wasted so much of my life this far without doing just that! Thank God I can now see my options more clearly.



r u a lezbo


I wasn’t sure if “me” meant this as a compliment or not, but I shall take it as such. It kind of looks like Prince sent me a little love note, doesn’t it? I shall cherish it, always.

So, from a few people I’ve been sent this survey through the e-mail. I figure I’d just make this easier if I answered the survey here, and you can cut and paste and send the survey to all of your friends like you are supposed to. My head is reeling. I’m typing, listening to lauryn hill and listening to the onhold music of the hr department. must… plow…through…

It’s Get To Know Pamie Time!

Copy this entire e-mail and change all the answers so they apply to
you….then send it to everyone you know, INCLUDING the person who sent
you this. So you should get back a lot of other get-to-know-you e-mails,
too. You’ll learn a lot about your friends that you maybe didn’t know!

(first off you should know that I am a little reluctant to answer any e-mail that is peppered with exclamation points, but everyone is asking me to do it…)

The Ultimate Survey For: pamie (

Nicknames: pama, pamie, pamie puss, chicken

Hometown: well, none, but born in Bloomsburg, PA

Croutons or Bacon Bits: Bacon bits

Favorite Salad Dressing: this is where we start? with salad? Uh, Bleu Cheese.

Do u drink: yes

Shampoo or conditioner: both. silly. but only wash once. Don’t repeat!
“It says repeat BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO!” Just a little
Margaret Cho for you there.

Have you ever gone skinny dipping: yes, but I don’t really like it. I feel slippery.

Do u make fun of people: it’s sort of what I do.

Favorite color: blue

Have You ever been convicted of a crime? just crimes of passion, baby, and you can’t stop me from doing that.

One pillow or two?: four

Pets: two cats, Taylor and Lillith.
At parent’s house: Dog- Sage. Cat- Ginger.

Favorite Type of Music: no favorite type

Hobbies: reading, video games, movies, magazines, internet

Dream Car: Porche 911

Type of Car you drive now: 93 Mazda Protege

Words or phrases you overuse: “all I’m sayin’…”, “whatever,”
“like,” “anyway,” people make fun of the way I say “sorry,” “borrow,”
“tomorrow,” and “dollar.”

Toothpaste: I use Crest, but when I was a kid I loved Aim

Favorite Food: no favorite

Piercing or tattoos: Two holes in left ear, one in right.
Generally I just wear one small hoop earring in the left.
When I’m feeling shmancy, then I’ll put in some nice earrings in both.

On-line Crush: too many to count. See links page

Current boyfriend/girlfriend: Eric. Also known as Erik. Therefore it’s like
having both. (He’s a Gemini, you know)

Most romantic thing that ever happened to you: An ex-boyfriend buried my cat when he died. When the cat died, not when he died. You understand my misplaced modifier, don’t you? That doesn’t sound very romantic to everyone, I guess, but I was away at college at the time. Okay, I’m sure there’s another… I just find little tiny things to be very romantic, you know? Like the way someone says your name, or when you see them grab for you in their sleep to make sure you are still next to them… that kind of stuff. So, in terms of big things, I don’t really know.

How do you characterize yourself (a hopeless romantic or non-romantic)?
Gee, I wonder what the answer is to that one? I suppose I’m a hopeless romantic in a world that says I shouldn’t be. Comedy is tough, kids, don’t let anyone tell you different.

Do you get along with your parents?: yes

Favorite town to chill in: Austin

Favorite Ice Cream: Chocolate Fudge Brownie

Favorite Drink: Coke

What’s your bed time?: before the sun rises and any small moments during the day that I am not needed somewhere.

Adidas, Nike or Reebok: I’m wearing Reeboks, but I miss my Vans

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: uh… Obsession?

Favorite Song at the moment: I’ve had “That Thing” stuck in my head for three days.

Favorite Movie(s): Grease, All That Jazz, Natural Born Killers, Some Like it Hot,
White Nights, Austin Powers, Amadeus, Dangerous Liasons

Favorite TV Shows: Mr. Show, Dr. Katz, Talk Soup, Simpsons, and I have this sort of strange (“This will replace ‘My So Called Life’”) kind of thing with “Sex in the City”

Favorite Novel: Catcher in the Rye

Favorite Website: the onion

Favorite subject in school: english

Least Favorite Subject: economics

Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Colorado Bulldog

Favorite chick drink: amaretto sour

Favorite Sport to watch: basketball (tv) hockey (live)

Most recent humiliating moment: sitting in a hot tub at a spa with some of my friends and noticing that my boobs were floating above the water. Not like in the air, or anything. Just sort of floating there in front of me.

Loudest person u know: Eric (aka Corn nut)

Craziest person or silliest u know: this is the silliest question i know. I think just about everyone I’m close with falls under either Crazy or Silly.

Favorite Holiday: Christmas

What do u look for in a mate/lover: he must be funny, honest, loving, giving, and smart.

The worst thing that has happened to you in the past couple months: Okay, uh, let’s see.
I didn’t get the promotion, and we didn’t get to go to Aspen. How’s that? Oh, and I’m pretty broke right now, but that’s kinda my own fault. Eric didn’t like the sweater that I bought
for him…well, he liked it, but it was too scratchy. Damn, I was looking forward to borrowing it, too.

Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you and be sure to send it back to them: well, since I got it from Cathy and Bill:

Cathy: her heart is as large as the Grand Butte of Arizona.
Bill: Even though he thinks Ferris is a Nazi, he still reads my page.


It’s Get To Know Chuy Time! (because you know you wanted to know…)

The Ultimate Survey For: chuy

Nicknames: chuy, cz.

Hometown: Southeast side of San Antonio. It is a town onto itself.

Croutons or Bacon Bits: Bacon bits

Favorite Salad Dressing:Bleu Cheese.

Do u drink: Yeah!

Shampoo or conditioner: both.

Have you ever gone skinny dipping: no.

Do u make fun of people: yeah.

Favorite color: green

Have You ever been convicted of a crime?not yet.

One pillow or two?: one

Pets: yes.

Favorite Type of Music: oldies soul.

Hobbies: basketball… sports in general. I like sports. That’s pretty pitiful. I don’t have any other hobbies. video games? no I’m not a gamer. Are you typing everything I’m saying? You asshole! Ironing. Put ironing. Stop typing all that! Fucker.

Dream Car: hmm… a big truck.

Type of Car you drive now: ford escort

Words or phrases you overuse: “fuck,” “fuckin’,” “essentially,” “right?” “dude!”

Toothpaste: some baking soda stuff… crest multicare.

Favorite Food: hot dogs

Piercing or tattoos: neither

On-line Crush: no

Current boyfriend/girlfriend: my wife, cathy, and lucinda…. she’s my imaginary girlfriend.

Most romantic thing that ever happened to you:My wife said “I do.” Fuck off, don’t laugh at me.

How do you characterize yourself (a hopeless romantic or non-romantic)?
non romantic.

Do you get along with your parents?: yes

Favorite town to chill in: Mazatlan, Mexico… or vegas.

Favorite Ice Cream: cookies and cream.

Favorite Drink: water

What’s your bed time?: usually about four in the morning.

Adidas, Nike or Reebok: Nike.

Favorite Perfume/Cologne: cool water.

Favorite Song at the moment: rockafeller skank, by fatboy slim

Favorite Movie(s): the Godfather, Coming to America

Favorite TV Shows: ER, friends, the cosby show

Favorite Novel: Where the Red Fern Grows

Favorite Website: espn sportscenter

Favorite subject in school: theatre

Least Favorite Subject: math

Favorite Alcoholic Drink: chivas on the rocks

Favorite chick drink: Kiwi Grape Wine Cooler

Favorite Sport to watch: basketball

Most recent humiliating moment: lately i’ve been mentioning everybody’s bad times that they just got over (divorces, people in the hospital)… I just keep having them relive them accidentally because I forgot what was wrong.

Loudest person u know: Eric

Craziest person or silliest u know: maybe Brently (person in Monks)

Favorite Holiday: New years

What do u look for in a mate/lover: someone not like me.

The worst thing that has happened to you in the past couple months: no money in december, and fucking everything was getting cut off, and the cat ran away and fucking cathy almost got a huge raise but didn’t… something happened to me, I can’t remember what, and I lost a lot of money in vegas. no cable.

Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you and be sure to send it back to them: who you? uh… uh… pam is always there to listen and is… really cool… i can’t think of anything, i just sound stupid. you wanted something deep and monumental, well, no. i’m not the writer, you’re the writer. i direct you to write me an answer.


Okay, so that’s the survey. there’s me and chuy’s answers. Now you know everything you never thought you’d know about me. Actually, probably, most of that stuff you already knew. If you’d like to fill it out and return it to me as well, hey. There you go. We’d get to know each other. But then again, there’s exclamation points in those directions, so if you’re too repulsed, I won’t be upset.

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