I Survived Eat Through Austin

…and then this morning I Googled “master cleanse.”

ooooooohhhhhhhhh man, I am full of food. This year’s food-trip with Tara and Dave was shorter than the last time, but I managed to get an extraordinary amount of eating in. I started strong and ended strong, you guys. I had ice cream for dinner last night. Yes, that is bragging.

We did some antiquing (someone please send me these chairs), some drinking (heh, “some”), and some friend-gathering as we repeatedly hid from the oppressive heat. I recorded a podcast as the first female guest for a future episode of Totally Hungover, which may or may not end up being the last time they allow a female guest. There was officially too much Whataburger and not enough migas. Continue reading

And then what happens when you find another girl’s bra in your apartment.

[Setting: Twitter]

@pamelaribon — I just pulled a bra out of my drawer and put it on, only to realize… this isn’t mine. I don’t shop at Victoria’s Secret. (…is it yours?)

@Glark — Stop crowdtesting your new novel Pamie.

@Mjfrig — Yes, I have man-boobs, okay! Stop rubbing it in. #idontreally #onlyajokeiswear

@auriflamme — It’s mine, yo.

@matt_fuqua — How embarrassing. I’ll get it next time I see you.

@SaraMorrison — What does it look like?

@pamelaribon — @SaraMorrison Flesh-colored, “Biofit,” 34D. If it’s yours, you just saved three thousand hours of drilling @jasonwupton with questions. Continue reading

Where I had been and what I will have had happen.

Let’s see. I went to Bellingham and that was fun. I got to meet superfan Teecer, who was extremely sweet and had all my books, and superhero Jen, who was awesome (Thanks for the review, Jen!). Lots of people came to the book signing, a homeless man won my box of Kleenex, and someone in the audience asked if I ever thought about being a performer, which made my friend from college sitting in the back laugh his ass off. Continue reading

I Saw a Lot of Ladyparts and Now I’m Soft.

So Tara was coming to town and mentioned she’d like to get a massage. I’d recently spoken to two different friends who had just come back from a place called Olympic Spa, and they both said to me, “I go whenever I can.” One of them lives in Hawaii. If you wake up in Maui every day and there’s a place in Los Angeles you dream about? It’s got to be pretty good.

Going to Olympic Spa would hit on several things I enjoy at once.

1. Koreatown.
2. Massages and scrubs.
3. More stories about being naked near Tara, just in case one day I get to write a book about it. Continue reading

torn.

PAMIE: [Answering phone] Hello?

MOM: Do you have something you need to tell me?

PAMIE: … Um… uh… well, uh… do you want to maybe give me a hint or a topic? Because this seems like a trick.

MOM: Your knee.

PAMIE: Oh.

MOM: I do read your website, you know. I didn’t, but I do now. Again. And you’re right. I was watching that game going, “My baby’s hurt! Don’t show other people, show my baby!” But you got back up and skated again so I wasn’t worried.

PAMIE: That’s why I got up.

MOM: I know. But you were hurt. You were lying. Continue reading

Eat Through Austin, Day One: The Eatening

The best part about Eat Through Austin is that as soon as you tell someone our plan, that person is immediately on board.

“Oh, right on. I’m so jealous.”

Dave, Tara and I are here to eat. All of Austin, if possible. That’s it. We have friends on the agenda, of course. I haven’t been here in five years, after all. But when we aren’t seeing old friends and loved ones, we are eating. Everything. (But don’t try to buy alcohol after midnight on Friday. Damn, Austin, I forgot about that. That blows.)

It took about ten minutes for me to remember where everything is as I drive around this city, and every street hits me with equal parts nostalgia and wonder (yes, wonder, bitches). My most impressive moment was when I was navigating us to Trudy’s simply by memory, thought I was lost and then felt my stomach pang. “Turn right here,” it said. And there it was. Trudy’s. (My stomach is now known as our Gastronomical Positioning System.)

Day one pics here.
Dave’s here.
Tara’s here.

Food consumed:

Opening Night:
Opal Devine’s: Live Oak Black Bark Beer, cracked pepper fries, southwestern egg rolls. [with Blynch]
House Snacks: HEB Central Market BBQ potato chips, Izze sodas (blueberry), white peaches, coffee [w/ Tara, Dave]

Day One:
Trudy’s: chips, salsa, Migas, Kona coffee [w/ Tara, Dave]
Shoal Creek Saloon: sausage, chicken, & pork gumbo, boiled crawfish, pitcher of Shiner [w/ Chuy, Cathy and the Zarate boys]
Doubletree Inn: Booze… and double chocolate cake [w/ Chuy, Cathy, the boys, Matt, Becca]

…I gotta go sleep off this crawfish. No, the cake. I think that’s what’s keeping me up. New rule: smaller meals, more frequently. I thought we’d hit Amy’s Ice Cream today.

Aloha from Overwhelming Positivity Podcast 23: Tandoori Lady

We didn’t just take a million pictures and post six thousand tweets. We made a podcast.

I’m honored to have been a part of Overwhelming Positivity 32, where you learn about zipline freak-outs, island curses, and why we should get a refund from our stargazing trip. And it starts with my “phone voice.” We recorded it on our last night in Hawaii, and by the end of it, you might feel you went on this trip, too. Or at the very least, you might come down with a touch of the “Aloha spirit.”

If nothing else, please don’t miss the, lovingly handmade by Glark. You might be inspired to add your own lyrics.

(I like to download their podcasts so I can take them with me on planes and trains and doctor’s waiting rooms. It makes me that crazy lady who laughs into the air and sometimes says, “I know!” …but at this point, I’ve got nothing left to lose.)

[I swear to you, this is the last time I’ll talk about this Hawaii trip. Last time!]

My Only New Year’s Drunk Dial Was From My Soberest Friend.

Normally, Dave Cole does not drink. In fact, until the last few hours of 2008, I believe he’d never touched a drop. The Power of Anna Beth worked again (see: everything anybody has ever done that wasn’t their idea and might not have been the best idea but made everyone else happy), so at her suggestion, Dave and Tara decided to split a bottle of champagne for their New Year’s Podcast.

But before the podcast, there was Dave’s drunk post, which let us know we were in for some fun:

Tara just said that people are facebooking my drunk dials. They don’t know the historical signifcance of what just happened. It was the interrsection of awesome and me and drinking. One day Pamie will be sad she wasn’t around to take the call. Pamie was probably out making a skirt. Continue reading