Tag: Johnny Depp

  • this is how sad it gets.

    I looked up the upgrade standby list for my flight today and it said: 8. RIB, P. 9. DEP, J. And for the splittest of seconds I was all, “OH MY GOD, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING.” What is wrong with me? How many romantic comedies did I have to see to fry my brain this way?…

  • “When all you wanted was to be wanted…”

    I’m sad/relieved to tell you that we are rounding out the end of my essays/letters/diary entries from my fifteenth year. Actually, there are a few I didn’t share with you, mostly because they are way too listy or factual. I found a twelve-page essay about the time my Gifted class went to the Houston Fine…

  • Name Dropping… and Shattering.

    A criticism an old boyfriend used to give me (I’ll leave out his name so that it doesn’t look like I’m complaining) is that I go too far back in time to start my stories. “I ask you when did you return the video,” he’d say, “and you start with, ‘Back when I was six,…

  • scene from a bachelorette party

    [scripty] ALEX So, um, pamie. How are you holding up? …You know, with the whole Johnny Depp thing. PAMIE What? WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED? ALEX Oh. I thought you would have known. His kid is sick. PAMIE Really? Which one? ALEX I… well, I didn’t know he had more than one. PAMIE HE HAS TWO. ALEX…

  • you know you’re right.

    I have a long history with being right. When I was a kid, I was right all the time. Knew the answers, knew why I knew the answers, knew what the next questions would be. Moving all the time meant I was always being given another series of placement tests, and I knew what those…

  • postcards from topeka

    I woke up this morning with the joke I should have fit into last night’s late-night blog about Dr. Inappropriate. (“Less Talkin’, More Doc’in.“) Meghan has posted parts of our Topeka pre-reading podcast. I’m just going to do myself a favor and not listen. But you can. She had to cut the coffee-fueled dirty parts…

  • The Room

    The Writers Room is empty. I’m used to this certain sound when I sneak back here to check my cell phone or see if someone emailed — this sound of laughter bouncing down the hallway from the other end of the building, calling me back, letting me know that I just missed out on something…

  • random.

    random.

    die fraulein est strangen! There is nothing cuter than a box of these arriving at your doorstep. Inside each copy is a postcard with an ad for German coffee. I can’t read a word of my book, but I love it. [db] In my own personal battle of Depp V. Chocolate, it’s as if chocolate…

  • japanese fan mail is awesome!

    [readermail] from: ヤマモト ケニー subject: jhnnydepp Q&A Hay!! I have a q for you. what type is johnnydepp’s bloodtype? meybe B? Do you know it ? Plese teach me! Save the earth [/readermail]