The Third Annual Valentine’s Day Entry Here. It’s for you. No, it’s just a little something I thought you’d like. What is it? Well, I was out getting some gas, you know? And, uh, this was right there at the register and it made me think of you. Your sweet ass. It’s mint flavored. Check…

Cute Single Boy Chris and Allison Come Clean. Allison The late Sippie Wallace, one of the greatest ever female blues singers, warns against what I’m about to do here in her song “Women Be Wise,” when she advises, “don’t advertise your man.” [“Shit. Now, you tell me.” -pamie] However, in the interest of full-disclosure, and…

Movie Reviews and My Dad has an Idea It’s Dad’s birthday today. I thought I’d celebrate it with my favorite moments in our phone conversations lately. You need the following backstory: My dad will see any movie with Anthony Hopkins. [scripty] DAD So, I saw Hannibal. PAMIE You did? DAD Did you? PAMIE NO! DAD…

michelle speaks The top five things that are bothering me right now as I am flying over the southwestern United States on America West flight #220: My ass hurts from sitting in these coach seats which appear to be cushioned with ass kryptonite. My legs hurt. Crossed on the left, crossed on the right, uncrossed…

kinda I’m terrified of the garage in our apartment complex where they keep the trash bins. It’s big and dark and scary and underneath the building. You open these giant metal doors to enter, and they always slam behind you, making the entire gate shiver and rattle. Then you walk in the dark to the…

so no one told you life was gonna be this way… I’ve been thinking lately about friends. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about Friends. With syndication the way it is, I can catch up on Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Ross and Rachael twice a night, three times on Thursdays. I’ve practically grown up with them…

I’m learning The comedy class I’m in is right now working on character development. This is something that I enjoy doing once I’m in it, but have a hard time letting myself do right away. I find that quite often the character I develop is based off someone I know, or something I do, and…

how hollywood works I think I’m going to have to start getting up earlier so I’m prepared for whatever this town has to throw at me. Luckily yesterday, instead of trying to find a breakfast taco, I took a shower instead. Right afterwards I got a phone call: “Wanna shoot a scene for a movie…

the pouty princess returns I am in a bad mood, people. Watch out. I just want to get up in the morning and have a breakfast taco. I can’t seem to do that. Sure, I could go out and buy the ingredients necessary for a breakfast taco and then make the thing myself, but that’s…

Ode to an Upstairs Neighbor Talk to me, tell me your name You wake me up like it’s all a game. You wear those shoes, and now I’m ticking away Like a bomb… yeah baby Talk to me, give me a sign You’re runnin’ round like a house on fire. You wear big shoes And…