What Day Is It?

I just saw I haven’t updated here since late March and now it’s May. Other than the year I took off, I haven’t ever missed a month in the history of pamie.com. [That one unlinked month will drive all my OCD readers crazy. I’m extra sorry about that!]

So first: apologies. It has been a crazy month. There’s the baby, of course, who fills in any available space and time as Qwerty has moved from an adorable lump of flesh with needs to an adorable drooling lump of flesh with needs who makes eye contact and can clearly telegraph, “YOU. I NEED YOU AND ONLY YOU RIGHT NOW. DO NOT LOOK AWAY.”

There’s been a lot of family stuff going on. My day used to be just Cal and me in this house all day long, and now it’s busy with people constantly coming and going. (And no Cal. It’s still not okay.)

Work wise, I’ve got a number of projects going on, including a new book. This means the list of things I’m unable to write about in this space is growing, and I feel bad how neglected this place was over the past month. I promise I’ve been writing things for you to see and read; I just can’t put them here. I promise to write about them as soon as I’m allowed.

If it makes you feel better, the other day Jason and I were watching a sitcom where a plot point focused on how two characters didn’t realize it was their anniversary. This was done to illustrate how their relationship wasn’t going so well.

I turned to Jason and asked, “Did we celebrate our anniversary?”

He just stared at me, his eyes distant, thinking.

“I know it happened,” I said. “But did we do anything?”

“When was it?”

“Last week.”

And then it was quiet for a while. “No,” he said. “No, that day just came and went.”

“It’s not even like one of us has been secretly seething for a week, waiting for the other to remember.”

“No, we aren’t that sitcom. We’re an entirely different one. The one with a new baby.”

“We just… didn’t even notice. We talked about it right before it. I know we were thinking about celebrating, if we weren’t too tired when it came around. And then it just happened.”

“Was it on a Wednesday?”

“I have no idea anymore. I had to ask you if we celebrated it because I was worried that I’d just forgotten a night out.”

“In our defense, there’s been a lot going on.”

“True. I love you, but right now we don’t have time to be in a marriage. We’re just part of the same platoon, both on separate missions.”

“That’s pretty accurate. But you know I got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours.”

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  1. amy a.

    That is actually really, really nice.

  2. Omar G.

    Our anniversary is actually today and since it tends to fall in the middle of the week, we don’t usually do anything except a nice dinner on the weekend and a small gift or two. Instead, we try to plan one nice trip a year without the kids (last year it was NYC, year before it was Vegas) and that’s kind of our anniversary celebration. Having babies around definitely makes the days blend together and holidays a little harder to stand out.

  3. Melissa Marie

    Happy Anniversary. I don’t know how people are expected to remember this stuff anyway…

  4. Karen

    this is so sweet that i have forgiven you for leaving me empty inside for so long. i literally went to check for an update, as i do every morning, and thought ‘why do i keep checking?’ and then saw your update and remembered why i keep trying. and as someone who is going to have her first child in 2 months, it’s something i can appreciate now and will try to remember later. thanks! keep up the great work, whether or not we can read it weekly as it happens or in some great lump at a later date.

    1. Pamie

      Karen! Thank you for this. I will think of you and try to update more often. I know that feeling of going to a website over and over again and wishing for just a little more to read. (i miss you, http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/)

      1. Sarah

        Pamie! Hyperbole and a Half actually updated!

        1. pamie

          I saw that last night! I hope I Secreted her entries into the universe.

  5. Melissa

    I am a casual reader, but I did want to comment that it sounds like you just celebrated a marriage more sweetly and sincerely and most.

    Good luck in your respective battles.

    1. Melissa

      THAN most. Damnit.

  6. Paul Tabachneck

    It was a good episode of Community, but would that make the two of you Up All Night? I hope not, because that show was constantly being re-tooled, and that can be traumatic on a baby.

    1. Pamie

      Add a job to the dad character and it pretty much does make us Up All Night. …Whose ratings I think about when I need to remind myself that probably not too many people want to hear stories about this time in my life.

      1. Shawna

        Me! I’m one of those people! I’m the single mom of two teen girls and I’d love to hear about the drooling amoeba that bats their lashes at just the right moment to make you melt. And all the cute, adorable, funny, disgusting, hilarious, omg-I-can’t-believe-that-just-happened, squishy things that I’ve forgotten about because TEENS. Help save my sanity. I need to remember they were cute and adorable and squishy once.

        And also? You and Jason are adorbs.

      2. Paul Tabachneck

        You’re assuming that NBC knows how to market to your demo, but their handling of Up All Night and Best Friends Forever proves otherwise. Write away — I can’t speak for all of us, but I’ve been intrigued to hear more stories of Pamie-dot-mom.

  7. Meg

    I’ve missed reading you, Pamie.

    (And, just for my own peace of mind, DID you write about the wedding? Because I don’t remember reading about it. And right now my brain is very . . . patchy (too many projects at once).)

    Good luck with all of your projects! I look forward to reading (and/or watching if that’s the medium) them.

  8. Valerie

    We always forget our anniversary. Usually my best friend reminds us of it. I’m not even sure how she remembers it. It’s not like she’s an overachiever or anything.