Possibly the Only Perk About Not Being Allowed to Play Roller Derby.

[scripty]
PAMIE
A quick impression of the lady who just gave me a pedicure. She was like, “OH.” Held up my foot. “OH. THIS. OH. YOU NEED. OH. YOU WANT. OH. CALLUS. OH, CALLUS. I CUT, YES?”

JASON
That poor woman.

PAMIE
I know. She put on latex gloves. Nobody else was wearing gloves. It was embarrassing. She thought I had some kind of foot condition.

JASON
Did you tell her how you got those feet?

PAMIE
I just went, “Yes, please. I know. I’m sorry. It’s… it’s from sports.” And then she went, “SPORTS. OH. OH, BOTH FEET. OH.”

JASON
And then strapped on those gloves.

PAMIE
Yes. But look! Cute feet!

JASON
Cute feet. Pam, I don’t even recognize those feet.

PAMIE
I know.

JASON
Those look like someone else’s feet. Whose feet are those?

PAMIE
They’re mine!

JASON
You know, I’ve never seen you with cute feet.

PAMIE
Yeah, I guess that’s true.

JASON
It is true. I’m used to “Feet that belong to a Ukranian man who’s been working in the trenches.”

PAMIE
OKAY, I GET IT.
[/scripty]