[scripty]
INTERIOR DOCTOR’S OFFICE — BEVERLY HILLS — AFTERNOON

DOCTOR
Okay, so how’s your knee?

PAMIE
Well, it feels really wonky. And after some consultations with Dr. Google, I think it might be my PCL.

DOCTOR
(instantly skeptical)
Uh-huh.

PAMIE
Look, I know. I know. But my knee was injured here, like this, with the kneepad, and that’s like a dashboard injury. And I just, in my defense, need to say that the last time I self-diagnosed, I had to go all the way to a specialist putting a camera inside my urethra before they would admit that perhaps I had been right the entire time that the marathon training had caused internal damage, and that people shouldn’t mock me when my research includes the Internet and the consultants on House.

DOCTOR
Then what do you need me for, right?

PAMIE
Alright. I get it. I’m sorry. Go ahead.

[MONTAGE OF QUICK PHYSICAL TESTS, MOST OF WHICH INVOLVE ME RESPONDING EITHER “I CAN’T” OR “OW”]

DOCTOR
Okay, well, let’s schedule your MRI for next week. I want to see exactly what we’re dealing with here. The good news is I don’t think you’ll have to have surgery. But I have to hand it to you. I think it’s your PCL.

PAMIE
Oh, really?

DOCTOR
If it is, I’m going to be impressed, because that’s not an easy thing to diagnose.

PAMIE
My dad would be so proud of me right now. Suck it, Med School!

DOCTOR
I bet that move looks more impressive when you have two working legs.

PAMIE
Not really.

END.
[/scripty]

(Hooray for probably no surgery!)