The dangers of my Topeka hotel:
And new to the list, after the final round of allergy scratch tests:
pollens, or Why California Is Killing Me:
California Black Walnut
Cypress (like you wouldn’t believe. my arm was livid!)
Alkali rye grass
Perennial rye grass
Kentucky blue grass
Airborne Allergens, or: How My Bedroom Is Killing Me (Also: why i can’t sleep):
cat hair (just a little)
dust mites [oh, my. big time.]
So, no more horses and pigs in my bedroom. So much for fun.
For the next three weeks, I have to make my bedroom like a place where John Travolta would live, without the boy. I’m Julianne Moore in Safe, having to cover my pillows, mattress and box spring with protective covers, buy an air filter, dust three times a week, and wash everything i sleep with in really hot water. it says i shouldn’t have books in my bedroom, but eff that. it says i shouldn’t sleep with the cats, but i will start with the mites because i love my cats.
He diagnosed me with Hay fever, Hives, Food allergies and Asthma, which is pretty much what I’ve known for the past ten years, but i didn’t know all the fancy names, and just what stuff i was allergic to. Now the fun part starts where i wait three weeks before trying one food at a time from the banned list until we find out what stuff was making me break out in hives.
My least favorite part of every school year was creating a Science Project. I always tried to find some bullshit way to get through it — like the year I “proved” it was harder to ride a skateboard on sand than on the street. How hilarious that my life has become a science project this year.
Hypothesis: there will be a breaking point where i give up on all of these doctors, books and advice and just smoke crack.