I feel like we were in the middle of something. What on earth was it? Oh, yes. I was singing “Shock the Monkey,” apparently about myself and my newly-installed monkey face.

People singing karaoke is some ugly hoodoo, is what it is.

Oy. So, okay. I promised a six-part series, and a six-part series I intend to give you. But I already spit out most of the stuff I was going to put in today’s entry prior to today’s entry, so I’m going to combine some stuff about KR3 and make my sixth installment a bonus entry about the rap version of KR3, called, “Get on the Mic.” Or is it “Get on da Mic”? I’ll know by Entry #6.

So we know, in exhaustive detail, the song options available to newly-acquainted fans of KR3. But how best to attack these songs? For a while, it was super-fun to go around the room and see who ranks best on a whole song. And clearly, y’all know by now how much I enjoy the many duet modes. After all, doesn’t this:

…look like more fun than this?

And doesn’t this:

…make you want to come over more than this?

And, the most important question…

Why on earth am I holding a trumpet, anyway?

So I thought nothing could beat the duets; working together to kick each others’ ass seemed a most sporting option. But it wasn’t until we discovered that you could pick one character, blow him through the platinum version of every song, and unlock untold songs, characters, performance venues, and cheats. Thus, we created “L.” Ladies and gentlemen…”L.”

“L” is a plushie.

Let me explain.

When we decided to work our magic as a group, we created one character for all of us and went to work. We decided to use the man in a giant feline-of-some-kind costume who, as my backstory for him has it, used to entertain at childrens’ birthday parties until he was accused of petting one of the children back and decided to go into karaoke hustling full-time. In our hurry to get him an identity and get him started, Pam hit one button and then enter. Our group identity was thus christened. We were a plushie named “L.” He’s so happy, and here he is again:

We quickly unlocked songs that sucked (I WILL do “China Grove” one day), costumes that ruled (devil horns!), characters that changed our lives (see tomorrow for more on “Vox”), and cheats we’ve only begun to figure out (a squirming little man instead of a microphone, which…stay away from that + drugs, is all I’m saying).

And seriously, dig these cheats. DIG THEM, I SAY!

Cheat Collection 1:
Complete at least one song with a “Platinum” rank in each venue in Showtime mode to unlock the “Cheat Collection 1” option. Then, select the “Cheats” option at the “Extras Menu”, select “Cheat Collection 1”, then enter one of the following codes to unlock the corresponding cheat option. A sound will confirm correct code entry.
Big eyed character: Press Circle(2), Square(2), Down, Left, Left, Down.
Banana microphone: Press Down, Up, Left, Right, Square, Circle, Square, Circle.
Toothbrush microphone: Press L2(2), Square, Circle, Down, Up, Left, L3.
Dwanye doll microphone: Press Square(2), R3, Circle, Up, Down, Right, Left.

Cheat Collection 2:
Complete all songs without a “Gold” or “Platinum” rank in each venue in Showtime mode to unlock the “Cheat Collection 2” option. Then, select the “Cheats” option at the “Extras Menu”, select “Cheat Collection 2”, then enter one of the following codes to unlock the corresponding cheat option. A sound will confirm correct code entry.
Big head character: Press Circle, Square, Circle, Square, Up, Right, Down, Left.
Mercury character: Press Down, Down, Right, Left, Right, Left, Square, Circle.
Wraith character: Press L2(2), Right(2), Circle, Square, R1, R1.
Fish microphone: Press Square, Down, Up, Left, Square(2), L2, L1.

Cheat Collection 3:
Complete all songs with a “Gold” rank in each venue in Showtime mode to unlock the “Cheat Collection 3” option. Then, select the “Cheats” option at the “Extras Menu”, select “Cheat Collection 3”, then enter one of the following codes to unlock the corresponding cheat option. A sound will confirm correct code entry.
Small head character: Press Circle, R2, L2, R1, L1, Down(2), Up.
Glass character: Press Down, L2, R1, R2, L1, Circle, Square, Circle.
Oil slick character: Press L3(2), R2, R1, L2, L1, Down, Up.
Ice cream microphone: Press Square, Circle, Square, Circle, R2, L2, R1, L1.

Cheat Collection 4:
Complete all songs with a “Platinum” rank in each venue in Showtime mode to unlock the “Cheat Collection 4” option. Then, select the “Cheats” option at the “Extras Menu”, select “Cheat Collection 4”, then enter one of the following codes to unlock the corresponding cheat option. A sound will confirm correct code entry.
Tough Audio Crowd: Press Circle, L1, L2, R1, R2, Right, Right, Down.
Pirate Crowd: Press Down, L2(2), R2(2), Square, Circle, Square.
Robot Crowd: Press L3, Down(2), R1, Circle, Square, Circle, Square.
Zombie Crowd: Press Square(2), Circle(2), Up, Right(2), Up.
Alien Crowd: Press Up(2), Down, Circle(2), L2, R2, Square.

Bonus songs:
Successfully complete Showtime mode to unlock China Grove and In The Midnight Hour.
Get a “Platinum” rank in at least one song in each venue to unlock Snake Eater (from Metal Gear Solid 3).
Get a “Gold” rank or greater in at least one song in each venue to unlock Waiting For You (from the Silent Hill 4 soundtrack).

Music Video venue:
Get a “Platinum” rank on a song to unlock the Music Video venue in Karaoke, Medley, and Quickplay modes.

The visible posts on this page are now officially, exclusively about karaoke and chicken. It’s like a blog of the inside of my mind.

Tomorrow: A pirate named Salty Pete.