are you in a disaster or just a debacle? First of all, my friends are funny. Check out the latest entries from Omar, Allison and stee. I almost didn’t bother writing because they’re funnier than anything I’m going to write today, anyway. But I’ve been thinking about this common conversation that Ray and I have.…

Your America West Itinerary Travel Itinerary Thank you for choosing America West for your airline. Below is your travel itinerary. We’ve done everything you can to remind you that you’re flying America West at all times. We know that you’re going home to surprise your father for his birthday, so we’re going to make sure…

pamie and stee give will ferrell more fodder We’ve bashed the The Lipton before. We wanted to do it again. Mike Myers was on Inside the Actor’s Studio. Because Mike’s actually funny, we had more fun listening to just James speak. Here, word-for-word, is half of the interview: the half that James Lipton said. It’s…

grammys and hissyfits Oh, man. I’m just surrounded in work this week, guys. Sorry about the neglect. The Grammys. What the hell do I know, really? Steely Dan. U2. Joni Mitchell. You can’t win a Grammy without Medicaid. And there’s something wrong with your awards show if you have so many performances you don’t have…

i just had a busy weekend Yeah, so anyway. Totally not dead. I just had a busy weekend. I was either performing or at a show every day, and I had company and people from out of town and there was television to watch and games to play and dinners to eat and sleep to…

Taylor checks in Bonjour. It iz I. Taylor! Can you feel zee fake happy in mah voice? Yes, I thought so. I am a most unhappy fuzzybutt, indeed. Do not get me wrong. I am enjoying zis Calfornia. Zee weather iz quite nice, and zee people are very very friendly indeed. It iz a larger…

The Third Annual Valentine’s Day Entry Here. It’s for you. No, it’s just a little something I thought you’d like. What is it? Well, I was out getting some gas, you know? And, uh, this was right there at the register and it made me think of you. Your sweet ass. It’s mint flavored. Check…

Cute Single Boy Chris and Allison Come Clean. Allison The late Sippie Wallace, one of the greatest ever female blues singers, warns against what I’m about to do here in her song “Women Be Wise,” when she advises, “don’t advertise your man.” [“Shit. Now, you tell me.” -pamie] However, in the interest of full-disclosure, and…

Movie Reviews and My Dad has an Idea It’s Dad’s birthday today. I thought I’d celebrate it with my favorite moments in our phone conversations lately. You need the following backstory: My dad will see any movie with Anthony Hopkins. [scripty] DAD So, I saw Hannibal. PAMIE You did? DAD Did you? PAMIE NO! DAD…

michelle speaks The top five things that are bothering me right now as I am flying over the southwestern United States on America West flight #220: My ass hurts from sitting in these coach seats which appear to be cushioned with ass kryptonite. My legs hurt. Crossed on the left, crossed on the right, uncrossed…