it's almost time

announcing birthday week contests

stee wrote about our Kevin Spacey and Buffy sightings. He also scribbled some props for me on the collaborative entry that we did that won him a diarist award:


Okay, perhaps you don’t have it branded into your calendar, but this Friday marks the beginning of Squishy’s Second Birthday Week. Since I’m hoping to not be too, too busy to celebrate, I figure it’s time to prepare. So, here we go:

Squishy Birthday Week Contests:

It has been brought to my attention that my design skills aren’t so cool. In fact, I believe stee said that Rob “kicks my ass,” so I’m willing to concede that my site is more function than fashion. Because of that, I’m willing to let you guys take over and make me look hip and cool. Here are the contests.

Create a Splash Page for Squishy.

This will go on the main page. All entries will be posted for a vote from the readers. You can wish to remain anonymous, or I can link to whatever you want if you win. The winner’s splash page will be displayed on the Squishy index page at the conclusion of Birthday Week for a period of time (I’m lazy, so probably through July). Winner’s work does become property of, since I can’t all hunt you down and stuff. Please submit with your information here.

Create an Entry Design for Squishy.

Yeah, I’ve been playing with this whole CSS thing, and I even tried looking at the pitas but I need a quick and pretty design for each day’s entry. All received entries will be posted for an open vote among Squishy readers during the period of Birthday Week (and maybe a bit later). The winner’s entry page design will be used on Squishy until I decide not to use it anymore, at which point the designer will be notified. Winner’s work becomes property of because I think that’s the only way I can sleep at night. Please submit with your information here.

Create an Entry for Squishy

Always wanted to write a Squishy entry? It worked wonders for Al.. Here’s your chance. This one I’m picking all by myself. No open vote here. I’ll only post the winner (and the runners up, because I know it’s going to be a difficult decision). In the event of a tie, the possible winners will be judged by Eric, Taylor and Cal. You are allowed to post your pseudo-entry on your own site if you want to scare the competition. Your work doesn’t become property of because you wrote that shit and only one of you is going to win, yo. Please submit with your information here.

“But what’s in it for me?”

Winners receive official Squishy prizes in the mail. I’m good at that. Sending gifts. You’ll be shocked. Surprised. Gleeful. Touched. You might cry. I might cry. We’ll be in love. Prizes will be shipped by mid-July because I’m a bit of a lazy person when it comes to actually going down to the post office, and I’m going to be doing a show right after Squishy Week (which falls right before Eric’s Birthday Week, who wants all presents for him instead of for you.)

“I have how long?”

Not long, cuz I don’t want you sweatin’. All entries must be received by midnight Monday, June 12th, which is three days into Birthday Week.

Good luck. Have fun. Happy Birthday Squishy. I’m so glad y’all are still here.

So, this is about the ninth time I’ve listened to this Eminem album. I can get past the “so suck my dick” stuff and the “I don’t give a fuck” and even some of the “bitch, i hate you,” stuff. But I keep trying to listen to it at work (as Eric can’t stand it) and I end up semi-closing my office door while I turn the music lower and lower and lower, and right now it’s like Eminem is whispering hate language in my ear, and I think this is how the Skinheads got started. People just screaming and cars driving off ledges and laughing and stuff. It sounds like I’m listening to a haunted house very very quietly.

I think I’m winning people over on the Bloodhound Gang, though.

Look. Sometimes I’m just a thirteen-year old boy. I really like the thirteen-year old boy in me. His name’s Chuck. He might have tried a cigarette once. Ben Thomas said that Chuck said he touched a boob once at camp. He’s cool. Chuck stayed back a year, but that’s because he moved around a lot, and not because he was dumb or anything. He says he already got that new Playstation that you can only get in Japan. His older sister leaves her bras on the kitchen table sometimes, and if you give him five dollars, he’ll let you smell them.

I know I haven’t mentioned reading a book in forever, but y’all are discussing summer reading on the forum, so I thought I’d throw in my two cents. I picked up The Fuck-Up at the St. Louis airport, and I’m so glad I did. I devoured it. Unlike a Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (which both Eric and I stopped reading because we found the main character sort of an ass (not unlike why I never finished a Confederacy of Dunces)) The Fuck-Up is a boy you know. He’s that boy that you know who stepped on the wrong path just a bit one day, and has had a bitch of a time getting back. He just keeps missing the mark and you want to help him, but you know you’ll get hurt if you do. And because you feel like you understand what’s happening to him, you end up falling in love with him, just a bit. Just enough to hurt. Because he keeps disappointing you. And you don’t want to judge him, because it’s his life, but you just want so much more for him. You know he’s better than that. But he’s toxic. And then you realize that you’re just a bit in love with him. Just enough that you want to help but you don’t because you want to feel stronger than that. But you call him sometimes, late at night, to see if he’s home. Or you write every once in a while. You find yourself thinking about him, searching for him on the Internet. You wonder if he ever got his shit together. But somehow you know he probably didn’t, and that he doesn’t even realize how close he was to realizing his dreams/potential/loveforyouthathejustignored.

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