I bite your butt.

Hey! HI! It’s me! Cal!

LITTLE MEW VERY BUSY!

I write instead. Hey!

I am now very very good at jumping! Watch! I just jumped from the floor to the chain lock on the door! I’m good! Good! Hey! HI!
I lick your face. I bite your butt. I lick your face. I bite your butt.

Hey! Bill’s back! He’s funny!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzmrrrwerrrriririr

I’m so exhausted. I need to break it down for a few seconds. Listen. Little Mew has figured out that I am trying to kill her. I don’t know how she got so smart. She caught me trying to suck her breath, and the jump from the floor to her head where I bit her head didn’t kill like I thought it would. I’m running out of ideas. I jump onto her keyboard every day and try and break the humming machine, but it does not work. I want to type her a death threat, but she won’t let me stay on the humming machine for very long.

I put poop near her clothes, but she has eyes like a hawk. She never wears my poop.

I have taken to attacking her feet as she walks by. I BITE HER TOES! I BITE THE ANKLE WHERE SHE’S BRUISED! I BITE HER BUTT!

Alas, she is fast, as big black man on talking box keeps shouting out numbers. She is able to avoid my attacks by his wisdom and guidance. I did not factor in big black man that yells.

And if I don’t run from Little Mew when she does this, she will kick my head.

I want her dead. Then I get Big Mew ALL THE TIME! I LOVE BIG MEW! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! WATCH HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I FALL OFF TABLE! It didn’t even hurt my head. That’s how much I love Big Mew.

Yesterday I tried to kill the one they call Rose. Alas, she caught onto me.

I thought if I kill the Trejo Mew then Big Mew would have no one else to get in my way. He was quick, too, and saw that I was trying to wrap myself in his clothing so that he’d take me home and I’d kill in his sleep.

TOO MANY PEOPLE KNOW MY PLAN NOW. I CANNOT KILL IF THEY KEEP FIGURING OUT THAT I KILL.

I must figure out new plan. You must help me. How do I kill? How can I kill?

I eat their food! I bite Other Mew! I chase! I chase! I am cute and fuzzy for Big Mew so he doesn’t catch on.

But I love you! So I tell you my plan for complete Mew Control. I shall rule the kingdom! I shall control all!

I am Cal!

I LOVE YOU!