SHUT. UP.

Not you. Me.

So, I guess I just wasn’t looking in the right place. Here’s the link to the Austin Chronicle’s Top Ten Austin Websites, in case you want to read what they said about me.

I’m feeling much better today. I remembered this nasal spray stuff that my doctor had given me last year for my allergies, and it seems to have done the job. That and it’s raining today, which makes some of the pollen clear the air. Woo-hoo!

So I haven’t had a cigarette in the new year. This is mostly due to the fact that I was hacking up brown chunks of lung for a week, but now that I’m feeling better I’ve been wanting one, but I’m just not doing it. I figured I’ve gone over a week, I should probably just not start up again. Please don’t send e-mails about me quitting. When I need some encouragement, I’ll set up a forum topic or something. Right now I’m just seeing how I’ll do.

So how’m I doing?

I’m a friggin’ freak.

I’m not kidding. I’m talking like I’m Coffee.

Last night
At dinner

[scripty]
PAMIE
And I was totally like, “NO!” But he was all, “Shutup,” so I was like, “Man,” and he was all, “Tss, whatever,” and I’m like, “Oh.”

ERIC
Uh-huh.

PAMIE
So then I’m all — hey, these are really good fries! — Anyway, I’m all, “Well, did you do it?” and he’s like, — wait. Here try this, this tastes good. Doesn’t this taste good? I think it does. Oh! I forgot to tell you that when I was Tae-Boing today? Because I got the new tape? The new one? Well, I wasn’t doing the new one, that’s Six. See, I get the new one and that reminds me to switch to the last new one that I hadn’t started? Like, I was doing Three until Five came in the mail, and then I started Four because now I had Five? Well, Six came in the mail last week but I was sick so I had to wait until today to start Five. Anyway, I think you won’t like Five. Five is all floorwork. Totally. Well, I didn’t do the full hour because I figured after taking a week off from being sick that I should probably — oops. I dropped a fry. Hold on. I’ll get it. Ow. Ow. — anyway, Five is hard. I think I have to keep doing Four on every other day or something because there’s so much floorwork in Five that I’m not jumping around as much. That was good today, though, since I’m trying to be nicer to my lungs, which are still a little creaky, but not like last week or something.

ERIC
So, are you feeling better?

PAMIE
A little bit, yeah. Why?

ERIC
I mean, are you okay?

PAMIE
Why?

ERIC
Because you haven’t stopped talking in twenty mintues.

PAMIE
Oh.

ERIC
I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

PAMIE
I’m fine.

ERIC
Okay…

PAMIE
No, you wanna know what it is? It’s because I’m not smoking. It makes me stupid.

ERIC
I’m used to you being much quieter.

PAMIE
Because I was tired. Now I’m all non-smoking Power Pamie. POWER PAMIE!

ERIC
Ow.

PAMIE
Sorry.

ERIC
It’s okay.

PAMIE
It’s kinda scary.

ERIC
Yes, it is.

PAMIE
I can go back to smoking.

ERIC
No, that’s fine.

PAMIE
You know what’s weird? Huh? What’s weird? Wanna know what’s weird?

ERIC
What?

PAMIE
This is probably closer to how I was when we first started dating, because I didn’t smoke as much then. This is how I was when you were wooing me.

What?

ERIC
That’s weird.

PAMIE
That scares you, doesn’t it? Because you’re like, looking at me and realizing that this is what you originally found so charming and witty about me because we never ran out of stuff to talk about but you’ve kind of changed and like the little silences now, right?

ERIC
Something like that.

PAMIE
I’ll shutup now.
[/scripty]

Really, I’m out of control. I’m all talky-talky-talky. Talky McBeal. Can’t shutup. Don’t know what to do with my hands.

And, yeah, I’m annoying myself. Hopefully it’ll all calm down, and most of this energy is due to the fact that I was a breathing sofa last week and now I’m feeling better. But I have visions of Marlboro Lights Boxes dancing in my head.

I was talking to my dad when I was sick and he was like, “Bronchitis, huh? I guess you just had to party that hard because it only turns 2000 once in your life and you partied too hard, huh?” and I was like, “What?” and he says, “You get bronchitis from being exposed to lots of viruses and pushing yourself too hard and smoking too much.”

I paused for a second, and then said, “You quit smoking for the new year, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. Why?”

“Because you always get self-righteous five days after you’ve quit smoking.”

Two packs a day for thirty years. The man quits for a week and he’s like Mr. Body or something.

I’m gonna go run around a lot now and pretend that I don’t have to sit still all day.

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