i’m no good

Oh, I feel terrible today and it is completely my fault. Here’s the problem: I’m a horrible napper.

Eric can take a fifteen minute nap and he’s like completely ready for another evening. He’s good to go. He’s chipper and smells good and everything. If I try and nap I fall instantly into a coma and you cannot wake me for over an hour.

If you do, you face my wrath. I’m completely bitchy and I smell like drool. I don’t want to talk and I can’t finish sentences.

But it looks so inviting when Eric does it. So last night I got home from work ready to do my Get Real recap so I could turn it in on time like a good little writer, when Eric suggested a small nap and then he’d go and grab dinner while I was working. “You work for a while, we’ll watch Friends, you work for a while, we’ll watch ER and then we’ll go play poker at Chuy’s.”

What could go wrong, right?

But then I napped. And when Eric tried to wake me I was grumbly. I was tired. I didn’t want to do anything, much less listen to the infernal whinings of the Green family. I stumbled into the living room. It was already seven. Time for Friends. We watched it, and then I started working on Get Real. Eric had a small problem with the D drive in the other room (and no, that’s not what the kids are calling it these days. It really was a computer problem), and I got started on my recap around eight. Obviously I wasn’t finished by nine. We had to watch ER because Mical came over to watch it with us. Now it was time to go to poker, but I still had about two hours left of recapping to do.

And because I’m a slave to peer pressure, I just decided to go play anyway.

This means I had three beers and lost three dollars.

I got home around twelve-thirty and knew that I had work at eight-thirty the next day. But I wasn’t tired, you see. I had that nap. So I got to plugging away on the recap and at two-thirty I was finished. I walked over towards the bed where Eric was reading. He wasn’t worried about work the next day because he was off. He’s filming a commercial in San Antonio and the call time wasn’t until the afternoon. He had all night to slack and drink.

“Damn that nap!” I shouted. “It ruined my whole evening!”

“You know, you’ve got great form,” Eric said. “I’d say you were one of the five best nappers I’ve ever seen. You hit the bed and go. Your problem is you nap too long.”

“I don’t know how to stop.”

“I can’t help you.”

So today I’m cranky and sore and sleepy and a bit hungover. I can no longer just have three beers over five hours and be fine. I guess I can’t drink anything anymore. My recap is done and turned in, but I still have a bunch of meetings to do today and Eric got to sleep to his heart’s content this morning.

Bitter, thy name is pamie.

So if anyone has any ideas on nap success, or resisting peer pressure, please let me know.

And I know that when I get home today I’ll be so cranky and tired that I’m gonna go straight to a nap. Eric will already be napping and it’ll look perfect.

And the cycle will start itself again.

Have a good weekend.