butting into my life

That’s Cal’s butt.

Want to know why I haven’t been sleeping too much lately?  That’s because Cal’s butt has been on my head, on my lower back, on my feet, in the crook of my arm, on my nose, stretched across Eric’s body to my body, and on Taylor’s back, which causes him to scream and kick and they generally continue on yelping and mewling throughout the night.

Note the lack of tail.  I’m starting to think it wasn’t so much an accident involving him getting his tail slammed in a door, but rather someone was trying to get him to slow down and when he ran off the tail came off in his owner’s hand.

Cal’s butt was on my scanner as I was sitting down to write, so I figured I’d share with all of you the most familiar part of Cal.  Cal’s butt is rather stinky.  This cat uses the litter box more than any other I’ve ever seen.  This butt is clumsy, and when he tries to walk past you he usually trips, and his butt lands on your arm or foot.  He uses his butt when he jumps and runs, hopping like a bunny rabbit from place to place.

Taylor is tired of Cal’s butt, and when it passes by him, he usually tries to swat or nip the offending fuzzy butt.

It’s hard to tell what Cal is feeling because his tail doesn’t wag.  His stump wags, but when he’s angry or happy the stump wags the same way.  The stump rarely goes down, unless he’s about to do a good sitting.

I swear Cal’s part Tom Green with the amount of butt plopping that goes on.

That’s Taylor’s butt.  He wasn’t as pleased to pose for the picture, so I’m actually petting him to make him sit down.  You can tell by the swishy fur that he tried to make a run for it during the scan.  Oh, and with this picture you can kind of see how his tummy has hardly any fur and it’s all pink.  We call it his tender underbelly because he won’t let you put so much as a finger close to it.  He’s very protective of his balding tummy.  Note the extended ready-to-kill back claws.  Taylor has been using these more and more to defend himself from Cal.  Note that Cal doesn’t have his claws out because he knows that he’s got Taylor beat in the weight department.  I’ve got two fat burly cats fighting for futon dominance and right now it is taking all of my strength to keep it together at my house.  They are up all night with the fighting.  I’ve started leaving the office light on for them, like a night light.  If they think one of us is awake for some reason they keep it down.  Also Taylor now sleeps only when it is light out, and Cal saves up his energy for the darkness.

It’s like I’ve got a pair of two-year olds who alternate between teething and shouting, “Mine!  Mine!”

Any ideas?