i tell you how i freak out strangers

Sometimes I get too busy. This is one of those weeks. I apologize for the brevity:

Yesterday I went to the bank to deposit a check. I asked the teller about changing my account because right now I get charged for making transactions at the teller. She asked why don’t I just deposit using the ATM.

“You can do that?” I asked, like I had just stepped off the truck from Buda, TX.

“Yeah. There’s no charge, either.”

I walked over to the line at the ATM and was marveling out loud to everyone. “Well. Who knew? You can do that here!”

Generally I’ve found that strangers don’t like it when I talk to them.

I stood there for another minute or two and realized that I needed an envelope to deposit my check. The envelopes were next to the ATM. I leaned forward around the woman inserting her ATM card and said, “Excuse me, I need an envelope.”

She jumped back about three feet and hid her ATM card inside her shirt front. Like I was about to attack her or something. I struggled with the envelopes and was like, “No, you go ahead.” She just shook her head. I guess she figured I was trying to memorize her pin number.

I went back into my place in line and waited for my turn. The woman left the machine, looked over at me and shook her head.

“What’s going on?” Eric asked.

“I think I’m scaring people at the ATM.”

“Baby, are you trying to make friends with strangers again?”

“No! I didn’t even really talk to her. She thought I was trying to steal her card.”

“We really shouldn’t leave the house anymore.”

I am not a scary-looking person. It always bothers me when I freak someone out.