freaking out over opening night

Opening night tonight.

Too nervous to do any typing.

Had a good rehearsal last night.  It was nice to do the piece on a real stage and not my living room.

Borrowed Chuy and Cathy’s Mulan so I’m going to watch that today and try and make the day go by quickly.

Twelve more hours until I go on.

What the hell am I doing?

My friend Brently called last night to wish me good luck.  He’s on his way to Los Angeles today to perform his one man show at the HBO Workspace.  He was one of the first people to encourage me to do this show.  He was actually the one that asked if I’d be interested in doing sketch and improv comedy.  He got me to the Monks audition.  He called last night to say that he was so sorry he was going to miss my show but he knew that he would have loved it.  I told him to go kick ass in L.A. and have fun.  His show is so funny.

Sometimes I think that I’m making my own choices and decisions in my life and I’m deciding what’s best for me, and then I write a paragraph like the one above and I think, “Wait.  Maybe it’s Brently who knows what I should do next.  He’s just quietly leading me down some path.”  Because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be opening a one person show tonight in a double bill with my comedy troupe co-worker.

If you’re in L.A. I recommend catching Brently’s show at the HBO Workspace Monday night.  It’s called “Wondrous Puddings of Joy.”

We had a good time on the radio yesterday.  If you’re in the Austin area and you heard me on KJFK let me know.

Oh, I’m NERVOUS!

My parents haven’t called back to let me know if they are driving up to see the show tonight or are waiting until next weekend.  I think I’d prefer next weekend instead of opening night.  There are some parts that I’d feel better telling after I knew how the audience was going to react.  My biggest fear is that my mother would stand up in the middle and go, “Well, if you’re going to tell the story, tell it RIGHT!”

Or that my dad would say, “Listen, your mother just told me what you just said, and I just want to tell you guys that my daughter has this thing called ‘Myth of Pam’ where every thing that ever happened to her as a kid is magically altered so that she’s the one that’s put upon.  Don’t listen to her.”

And I can just see myself going, “Mom?  Could you sit down?  I’m working.”

So, you know, next week or maybe even tomorrow….

but I don’t think I want them there tonight.

Oh, golly.  I’m nervous.

Gonna go watch Mulan.

Ick.

WHAT AM I DOING?

Why didn’t you people stop me?  Honestly.