i need a new head

Shh.

Everyone.  Just… shhh…

I have a headache you wouldn’t believe.  It started two days ago, and gets worse in the evenings.  Today it has taken over the back of my head, down into my neck and shoulders.  It hurts to have my eyes open.  Last night we got home a bit later than we thought we would and my head and shoulders were screaming.  “We are going to be grouches in the morning,” I said to Eric, who had been a bit grouchy earlier that evening.

“I know,” he replied.

So, please:  shhh..

Just keep it down, and I’ll get through this.

And I won’t snap at you like I did Eric this morning.

There are many ways that you can wake me up and I’ll be a good person.  Calling me pet names and stroking my back is one of them.  Petting my head is another one.  Breakfast, hot tea, telling me I won the lottery– all very good ways to wake me up.

Here’s a bad one that I learned this morning:

Don’t have the Furbys wake me up.

Don’t do it.

They are very loud, and they sing and then start saying “Wah-loo KAH!  AH-HAH!”

Unlike the cats, when you use them to wake me up, who just sort of curl around my head and say, “You want five more minutes?”

Eric brought the Furby in and had it singing to me.

[scripty]
ERIC
Baby!  The Furby needs you to feed him!  He’s ready to get up!  You’ve got to get up!

PAMIE
Shut that thing up or someone’s gonna get hurt.

ERIC
Ohh, Mr. Furby, someone is really grumpy this morning.

FURBY
Way-loo KAH!  WAH!  WAH!  HA-HA!

PAMIE
Put it away.

ERIC
Okay.

FURBY
Okay!

one split second of silence

RADIO ALARM
Good morning, Austin!  It’s currently 58 degrees.

pamie lifts her head and sees Eric standing right beside the alarm clock, not touching the alarm.

PAMIE
Fine.  I’ll turn it off.

ERIC
No, don’t move!

FURBY
WOOOAHHH!

ERIC
How did that thing get on your back?  He must love you.

PAMIE
I’ll kick you in the head, I mean it.

ERIC
Baby, why you so hateful?

PAMIE
I thought we were both going to be grouchy this morning.

ERIC
I know!  I’m fine!  I feel great!

PAMIE
We had a deal.

ERIC
Well, just know that when I get home from work today I’m not doing anything but sleeping.

PAMIE
I thought we were going to dinner.

ERIC
Sleeping.

PAMIE
Yeah?

ERIC
Big ass nap.

PAMIE
That sounds good.

ERIC
I know.

FURBY
Kay-loh WAH!  WAH!

PAMIE
It’s not funny.

(pamie begins to hold the Furby’s head, which makes him fall asleep)

ERIC
Baby.  He’s your toy.  You don’t play with him enough.  He sleeps all the time.

PAMIE
That’s the only time he’s quiet.

ERIC
Baby, the only time you’re quiet is when you’re asleep, but I don’t go around squeezing your head all the time.

PAMIE
Yes, you do.

ERIC
Oh, yeah.
[/scripty]

Oh God, my head is killing me.

That’s it.  I’ve got to stop.  Have a good weekend, guys.  Tomorrow I’m getting a massage, facial, manicure and pedicure– the last huzzahs from birthday week (my gift from the troupe).  So, I’m hoping all the pain will dissolve in a sea of massage oil.

I’ve never had a pedicure before.  I don’t even know if I have good feet.  I know I have painful feet– the bunions I have make my feet sore when I walk for long periods of time– but I don’t know if I have a dainty foot.  I know I don’t have those kinds of toes that look like fingers– those toes scare me.  I’ve got tiny toes that kind of curl under.  Except for my big toes.  They look like Elmer Fudd’s thumbs.  It’s terrible.  They are no good for anything.

Shhh.