my eating habits and my narcissism

I was fading fast last night at the end of my shift. I did one of those fall-asleep-holding-the-mouse-with-your-head-pointed-towards-the-monitor things. I got home, ate a quick dinner and promptly fell asleep on the couch. The phone rang– I had no idea what day it was. Eric came home– I had no idea what day it was. I only remember a few things. Eric moved me to the couch. Eric moved to the floor and I followed him and fell asleep on his arm. Eric moved me back to the couch and I fell asleep on his chest. He woke me up a couple of hours later, showed me the puddle of drool on his chest and then put me in bed. I slept for fourteen hours. I can’t believe how tired I was.

I was bummed out because I really wanted to spend some time with Eric but I was so exhausted that whenever I wanted to tell him something about the trip I just fell right asleep again. I couldn’t make it through a sentence. I remember him shoving me to the other side of the bed so he could be by the alarm and I didn’t have to wake up in the morning.

What’s funny is when I got home I thought: “Well, I have a couple of hours before Eric is home from rehearsal. This will be nice. Some time to myself. I’ll do some Tae Bo and then take a nice bath so I’ll be all beautiful before he gets home.” Instead I conked out on the couch and I still don’t look beautiful. Although the weather has chapped my face a little, and my lips are all puffy and oh-so-Gina Gershon that I’m thinking maybe I’m a prettier person in Colorado.

I have a lot of make-up work to do here in the office today. For the rest of the week starting tomorrow I’m in a class, so I’m not sure when exactly I’m updating. I’ll do it, though, I’m pretty sure. It’ll just be sporadic. Then next Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I’m going to SXSW Interactive (Melty— get your butt down here!) , so I won’t be here to update. You’d think with all of those machines there’d be a place to upload, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to do it in the afternoon. So, for the next week, please be patient.

It’s strange– I stopped doing Tae Bo for a couple of days to go out of town, and while we were on the trip we only ate cheeseburgers– but during the trip I noticed that my larger jeans were falling off me. I had only one pair that would fit the entire trip. Eric saw me last night and said, “You’re getting so skinny.” There’s something about stopping a workout for a couple of days that makes your stomach flatten, I guess. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t work out every single day. Maybe I should stick to three times a week. For some reason I’m seeing results faster. I do know that I wasn’t sore after that day of skiing/falling and I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been taking better care of myself.

But what I think it is is that I didn’t drink when I was in Aspen because the altitude made everyone so drunk so fast. I had three sips of a glass of wine at Neil Simon’s reception and I started getting light-headed. I drank water almost every minute I was there. When we were in the car I would drink liter after liter of water. I think that’s really what’s happening to me. I’m flushing everything out of my system. I bought this two liter bottle outside of Aspen that I was drinking in the car. Yesterday when I was drinking it I was wondering how many ounces that was… It’s 67.6 ounces. They always tell you to drink eight 8 ounce glasses of water a day. I was drinking two of these a day. That’s double the ounces. And now my pants don’t fit me. Don’t tell me all this time all I had to do was drink all this water.

Also I’m really hungry now that I’m back from the trip. I was hardly hungry on the trip at all. I’d feel hungry, but I’d have a hard time finishing my meals. Now I’m just dying for a sandwich or something.

I guess since I spent all of yesterday telling the story of Aspen and then promptly fell asleep, there’s really nothing of note that happened yesterday for me to share here. Now I’m just telling you about my food and liquid cycles, and that’s pretty damn dull.

I’ve noticed that many journals are talking about quitting or changing or stopping altogether… and I realize that it’s totally because I just updated my links page and for some reason that has been the kiss of death for journals I like. So, you know what? If I read your journal and you aren’t on my links page it’s because I don’t want you to stop writing. Somehow I’m jinxing these pages. I know, it’s a stretch and rather egotistical to think that I have anything to do with why they would or wouldn’t write anymore, but I have to rationalize it for myself. Just like I’m thinking that when Gene Siskel went to wherever it is you go when you die they said, “Gene, anyone you’d like to chat with?” and without thinking Gene was like, “Man, I’d love to talk with Stanley Kubrick. Oh, and I love Joe DiMaggio. And I’ve always had a soft spot for Dusty Springfield. Wait. What are you doing? What’s that button?”