proceed with caution

Yesterday I decided to continue my cooking kick and make dinner for my friends. I can’t remember the last time I… oh, yeah. NBA finals, last summer, cooked chicken wings and veggies for six. Made the apartment 110 degrees.

But I decided that it was time for my friends to have some Polish cookin’, so I made Haluski, Kelbasa, and Pierogies. I filled up my biggest pots and boiled pasta like you wouldn’t believe. It went over well, I think. I think they liked it. Mom would be so proud.

Last night it started storming… and when Eric and I were going to sleep he noticed a dripping sound. We turned on the lights and found that our ceiling has a leak. Just a small hole in the ceiling where water is dripping through. So this morning as I went to pay rent I made the list of grievances that we currently have: the garbage disposal still doesn’t work, the fan still makes that clicky noise when it turns, several light bulbs are still out, and now this leak.

Whenever I put in a maintenance request I spend all day cleaning the house for their arrival. It never fails… they show up three days later when I’ve forgotten all about it, and I’ve got to shift around dirty socks and underwear for them to get to whatever it is they need to fix. That or they show up on a day I stay home sick, and I’m lying on the couch all snotty, or I’m still in bed in my skivvies, and I have to answer the door with whore hair and ask him to wait outside for a second while I “make myself presentable.”

It’s finally turning into fall here, and it’s rainy and cloudy outside. It’s about sixty-five degrees, and I’m getting to wear a sweater. This makes me very happy.

Eric has a play opening this weekend. I will miss opening night due to the biopsy, but I wanted to go to the preview on Wednesday… we lost our rehearsal space for this week.. and now rehearsals are at my place on Wednesday, and I will not be able to go to the preview on Wednesday. I will have a show on Thursday, so I cannot see the show then, either. That means that the earliest I can see Eric’s show is Saturday, which is after all the opening day festivities, and this makes me feel both guilty and pissy. I really wanted to be there for his opening night… I’m hoping that I’m fine by Saturday so that I can go see it. This happened the last time he had a show, I was performing as well, and I missed his opening night and he was a little bummed. I had shows that he couldn’t come see of mine… and since my show is never the same (unless we are doing our sketch show), sometimes he misses really good shows.

I’m just trying to make my life sound more glamorous than it is…

Poor Diane… she didn’t have a great time in Austin… she didn’t get to see the good parts (except she did go to Katz’ and Kerbey, two Austin staples), but she stayed at the Driskell, which is absolutely lovely when they aren’t renovating it. Diane was literally staying five blocks down the same street that I perform on. If I had stood in the street and she had stood in the street, she wouldn’t have seen me, and I wouldn’t have seen her, but we would be standing closer to each other than we ever have in our lives… not that I know what she looks like or she knows what I look like… but I would have given her better directions to Katz’. Here I’m going with the movie trailers again: “In a world where two complete strangers could potentially collide on one street full of mayhem and comedy… Blocked by frat boys, karaoke bars and cops on horses… blinded by the melting October sun… one woman… another woman… will not meet. See the total lack of irony. Feel the complete apathy. Watch as two people go about their lives as they normally would, not trying to find each other in a world where they are suddenly so close. Nobody Knows Squishy. This film has not yet been rated.”

OKAY! I’m cutting down on the hot chocolate when I get to work and YOU CAN’T STOP ME.

What a freak.

I need help.

Why do people get so mad at you when they call your house and you tell them they have the wrong number? You know how they start yelling at you, and they get all huffy, and you’re like, “Sorry! You have the wrong number!” And then they start calling you names and getting really personal and stuff and you’re like, “Look, I don’t know any ‘Mom,’ okay? You have the wrong number, lady! Now quit calling me before I call the cops!”

ba-da-bum-chha!

I’m going a bit insane today, and I apologize… I’m supposed to be writing some scripts today, and I’ve been sort of pushing that aside because it’s been rather busy around here today.. and I forgot my cigarettes at home, so I’m smokeless, except for the ones I’m bumming, but I feel bad about bumming, so I’m just sort of sitting here all hepped up on the smack. The chocolate smack, mind you.

I think I didn’t get enough sleep last night, coupled with the sugar attack I gave myself this morning, coupled by the fact that it’s nice and cool outside, but they made it as warm inside this office as it usually is outside during the summer, so now I feel like they just moved that nasty humid heat indoors so we Texans could hang on to that feeling of sweat dripping from your ears down your neck just a little bit longer. I’m gonna go bust some heads and fix that thermostat.

You have to be really sneaky around here to adjust the air. They watch it like hawks. It’s in someone else’s office, so you have to invade their space, first off, and then you have to make it seem like you are doing them a favor by adjusting the temperature, when they are probably the ones who set it there in the first place, so if they see you change it, they will just put it back when you leave… so you have to distract them… “Could you tell me what USA Today’s infografic is about today?” and quickly push the temperature buttons down before they notice.

here i go…

Operation Temperature Drop was a complete success! Thermostat Guardian was distracted on a phone call and could not tell me to unhand the machine. All will be well shortly.

Except for all this crazy talk in my head.

What a weird day.

It’s the rain. I’m sure of it.

Right?