1. sheepy

    I have a lamp that doesn’t work. I tried changing the bulb and it still doesn’t work. I know the bulb is okay, because I tried it in a working lamp.

    When can Jason be here?

  2. Kehla

    I’m pretty sure Liz Lemon and Carol Burnett had that exact same fight during season 5 of 30 Rock, we just didn’t get to see it.

  3. Heidi

    Love this. My mom and I have this same war over the dishes. I have custody of the lamps and outdoor lighting because I’m taller and bendier (not like that, pervs).

  4. Ana is in charge of all building around here. She puts up all of the shelves, racks, etc., because she loves doing it and loves not needing a man to do it. She also claims she does not need a level, but has lost that argument due to a “floating” bookshelf full of hardcovers that fell where my head should be, so I’m glad you kids are using a level, to prevent any accidents.

    My friend Terence told me as Ana and I were nearing our 10-month (he’s been with his wife for almost ten years) that the key to parenting peacefully is learning how to settle any argument in under 30 seconds. Shorthand points of discussion, knowing which battles you’ll pick, etc. Maybe jurisdictions are a good place to start in that direction? He handles all the lightbulbs, you take charge of issuing family-wide communicae (holiday newsletters, invitations to things, announcements that you will be having a loud party on Saturday night)?

  5. mel


    laughing so hard I’m dying over here…

  6. What Chelle just said and this “When Southern men do this, it’s the equivalent of when I wake up Thanksgiving morning to find my mom in my bed spooning me, giggling, “Pajama hugs!”
    just killed me … in the best kind of way.

    So happy someone tweeted your gross massage post out, b/c I am practically living on your blog these days.

    Archive dig, archive dig.

  7. Rhonda

    I threw a hammer toward my husband when I was about 8 months pregnant. I didn’t really aim at him because I didn’t want to hurt him, but I aimed close enough for him to get the message. It left a tiny hole in the metal garage door, which is still there, nine years later.

    I used my favorite phrase a lot during those last few weeks, “You think it is hard living with me? Try BEING me.” It is hard making a whole person. Pajama hugs!

    • I worry this isn’t the kind of confession you are supposed to make online in a public forum, Rhonda. I suppose we’ll all stick up for you, though.

  8. Kendra

    Never read your stuff before, but I sure will now. Just a breathtaking job of describing how you can want to kill someone for reasons that would make no sense to anyone else, yet you know you love them more than anyone else does. Marriage, and parenting.

  9. Jill

    “the sheriff of all illumination” – this is where I started laughing so hard I had to close my office door. My eyes are still watering. This is awesome.

  10. Laura

    This amused me greatly, because I have the same dish issue with my boyfriend in our tiny flat. He once finished a load of dishes I had soaking and was just shocked that I would soak the garlic chopper, because it would get water in the plastic parts. My defense of having to soak it to get the dried on chili he chopped two days before off, didn’t fly so I finally just said, “It’s my garlic chopper, I’ll soak it if I want to!”

    Our latest argument was because he thinks I don’t know how to get groceries, since when I first moved to the UK from the US I needed help with the different measurements and where to find things. After a year and a half here he apparently still doesn’t trust my abilities! He asked me to pick up onions and I was so proud to have found a 1 kg bag of mini onions for 75 pence that he first didn’t trust because of the word “mini” and then didn’t trust that I knew I was getting a good deal. I had to pull up the store website to show that three regular size onions are 750 grams (less that 1 kg) and cost a pound…so 250 grams more for 25 pence less, good deal right? Silly to have had to pull up a website to prove I was right. Haha

  11. Rob Floyd

    “i mean, okay, yes, but the kitchen can be kind of dark…”

    Life is gross! Bring a flashlight! ;)

    I laughed through this whole post. Thank you!

  12. You have described so perfectly how I also feel at this stage of my pregnancy, when everybody in the world is telling me to stay on the sofa and not move in order to stop the twins from arriving early. Not being able to do stuff is SO frustrating, and if I wasn’t so flipping knackered on a permanent basis I think I’d be getting quite scratchy about things by now…

    • I still don’t understand the concept of “NOBODY MOVE THE BABIES MIGHT COME EARLY!” I suppose at that this point in history that MUST be based on Real Science, no?? But to me it always sounds like people don’t know the babies can’t just fall out.

      “They look like they’re done! You need to figure out how to keep them from popping out, by holding very still until your body does it by itself! Mmkay?”

  13. Heidi

    P.S. What are you holding in your new cool new Twitter avatar?

    (Hope nobody declared themselves Mayor of Plumbing today).

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  14. J.C.

    Your ability to capture the love, frustration and stubbornness of cohabitation is amazing!!!

    Although I have never had all of those emotions combined with pregnancy, I can see it totally–VERY FUNNY (from the outside, anyway).

    I love the image of you and Jason standing together in the baby’s room having finished that project TOGETHER!

  15. My house has so many burnt out lightbulbs because I stopped being allowed to stand on tall things to change them – it makes me feel helpless in a way that I’m not used to, but I love that I’m not the only one!

  16. Jeanette

    I’m glad to know other couples argue like this! I wondered if my new husband were not at all compatible and made a terrible terrible mistake.

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