This just happened on my Facebook chat.

Posted by Pamie on Nov 15, 2011 · 14 Comments

Tilda Whirl: TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT JON HAMM.

Me: HE IS DREAMY AND WAS WEARING A SUIT AND AT ONE POINT WE MADE EYE CONTACT BEFORE HE POINTED BEHIND ME TOWARD THE BATHROOMS BECAUSE I GUESS HIS FRIEND HAD TO PEE.

Me: AND THEN ANOTHER TIME I TOTALLY PRETTY MUCH MAYBE “ACCIDENTALLY” FRONT-FROTTAGED HIM WHILE SAYING “EXCUSE ME.” I said “excuse me,” so it’s okay.

Tilda: Armov and I have a Hamm obsession so I am copying it to her as well

Me: He looks exactly like Jon Hamm. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to smell him.

Tilda: I bet he smells like leather jacket.

Me: Yes. Leather Jacket and kitten fur.

Tilda: Armov is appalled you did not chloroform him and drag him to us. APPALLED!

Me: He is very tall. I would have had a hard time dragging him. What with being on top of him taking a nap because he was out cold. I would make him sleep-cuddle. That’s not technically assault, is it?

Tilda: mmmmm hammnap

Me: My friend Heather said, “You need to go up to him and pitch him Hammie Dot Com.” And I was like, “Hammie’s Jammies. That’s what I want him in.” They have a suit front and a little martini glass dangling off one sleeve.

Tilda: OH MY.

Me: I stared at Jon Hamm for so long Bob Odenkirk came by with this confused look on his face. I think he was thinking I was giving him the sex eye.

Tilda: Dear Bob Odenkirk: you would be awesome were Jon Hamm not RIGHT THERE.

Tilda: you know he doesn’t wear underpants, right?

Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

Tilda: JON HAMM DOES NOT WEAR UNDERPANTS

Tilda: he does not care for them

Me: you made that up, but I like that you did.

Tilda: I did not.

Tilda: If you have looked at all the photos of Jon Hamm that Armov and I have looked at, you would come to the same conclusion that we have. Man does not like the underpants.

Tilda: We have spent HOURS of valuable work time doing research

Me: …This is why you are not invited to places where he is.

Tilda: … I know.

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14 Comments

Caitlin
November 15, 2011
Greatest Facebook chat ever. And I’m very glad to know I’m not the only one to talk like this over chat.
I also did not know he does not wear underwear. There goes my afternoon into daydream land.
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Paul Tabachneck
November 15, 2011
I try to get people into conversations like this about Archie Panjabi, but they just don’t take.
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Infinite Pest
November 15, 2011
This is the best conversation that has ever taken place….also, I know one of his hangout spots. It is near the track. We can go to there and lurk.
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Michael
November 15, 2011
I went back and looked at your TWOP recap for the Gilmore Girls episode he appeared in, way back in 2002 Season 3 (Eight O’Clock At The Oasis) and it looks like he caught your eye even then. The first time his character appears, you wrote “Ho-ho. Cute Boy at the bar”.
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- Pamie
  November 15, 2011
  This means I have dibs, right?
  Reply
J.C.
November 15, 2011
OMG. I love me some Hamm! This chat made me spew liquid out of my nose…sexy.
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Sasha
November 15, 2011
I’m impressed with your restraint! I would be ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME just being in the same time zone as Jon Hamm. In the same room I would have made an utterly stuttering blubbering ass of myself.
Also, Pamie and Hammie’s Jammies would be the best.
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Angie
November 16, 2011
Pamie, I want to be your friend so badly, and not because that would put me two degrees from the Hamm.
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- Angie
  November 16, 2011
  Well, not just because, anyway.
  Reply
  - Pamie
    November 16, 2011
    Day two of hanging out with me, you’d be like, “EXCUSE ME, PAMIE. COULD YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING? I BELIEVE IT IS WELL DOCUMENTED THAT I ORDERED HAMM.”
    Reply
Jenny
November 17, 2011
I am pretty sure that if was ever in the same room with Jon Hamm, I would grab him and hold him tight until someone drug me away kicking and screaming.
I am only half kidding.
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amanda
November 26, 2011
Jon Hamm looks just like Fabio. Not kidding. Look it up.
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Kiki
December 1, 2011
Just spent about 30 minutes looking at pictures of him out in public. Getting a definite commando vibe from some of the pictures. I can’t believe I just scoured the interweb for pictures of a man’s BOX. Crazy.
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Tilda Whirl
January 20, 2012
I was reminded of this conversation from your tumblr and was reading back over it and realized that you were not invited to places where he was either. I believe this was you crashing a Mindy Kaling’s book party.
YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ME, RIBON!
P.S. I love you.
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