and then I’ll make her my Mrs. Itty

Miss Itty is fourteen years old. We have all waited patiently for her to reach maturity and know the touch of a man. A man named me. The time has come to start counting down to a time when the world will be able to have her as its own, on that day of her … [Read more…]

a very long excuse for why I’m not exercising

Almost exactly one year ago, I came home for four days for my future sister-in-law’s bridal shower. Yes, I’m a boy and yes, I wasn’t reeeeeeeally invited, by my mom was feeling stressed about it and I had a tiny break between seasons of ANTM, so I hopped on a plane and spent the weekend … [Read more…]

Shea Stadium in April

I usually go to at least one game in the spring, and it’s usually cold, but…dude. Tonight (the worst game ever, even if the Mets had won, which they DID NOT…seriously, look at how Philly scored those three runs in the third), the temperature went from late January to early March and the back again, … [Read more…]

thanks, Jay

Memories of high school compliments of my friend Jay. Is it possible we were really this cool?