I VOTED.

Go vote. Go vote. Please go vote.

And you know, those punch-ballots/chads really are kind of confusing. I think what happens is I freak myself out, thinking I’m accidentally going to vote the opposite of what I want.

“No on the recall. No on the recall. No on the recall. Wait. Yes, I want the recall to be shot down. No, I want to keep our governor. Wait. Yes, I think this is a bullshit do-over vote just like how we got Bush as a president, and here I am staring at the same Florida-lookin’ ballot, and seeing Angelyne’s name really just threw me. I want NO, yes?”

I voted. Yay, democracy.

The other night the four of us were driving to a birthday party in Malibu. Driving up the PCH, Todd and Hilary were in the front seat, stee and I were in the back.

[scripty]
PAMIE
Look for dolphins!

STEE
What?

PAMIE
When Andi was here we drove out and right along here we saw a schools of dolphins jumping out of the water. It was so pretty.

HILARY
Pods.

PAMIE
Hmm?

HILARY
A pack of dolpins is called a pod.

PAMIE
I didn’t know that.

HILARY
One time I came out here just to relax, and look at the water, and right where I rested my eye this giant dolphin leapt out of the water, right in front of me. It was beautiful.

TODD
That’s nice.

PAMIE
Mmm.
(beautiful, dolphin-awed silence fills the car.)

STEE
Pam had a sex dream about Jim Carrey last night.

PAMIE
Stephen! I can’t believe you just told them that!

STEE
Why do you sound like my mother?

PAMIE
Because I am as shocked as she would be.

HILARY
You called him “Stephen!”

TODD
Stephen!”

PAMIE
I didn’t have sex with Jim Carrey.

STEE
Sorry. She saw his enormous cock.

PAMIE
You’re just mad that it was bigger than yours.

HILARY
Oh!

PAMIE
He started it; I’m gonna finish it!

TODD
Jim Carrey had a big dick?

STEE
It was apparently massive. Went up to his chest or something.

PAMIE
Yes, it was very large. But I didn’t do anything with it.

STEE
You rubbed up against it.

PAMIE
He pulled me to it.

HILARY
And he had it all bent up in his pants, under his sweater? Ew!

PAMIE
I wasn’t planning on talking about this with anyone. There are things we tell our significant others when we wake up in the morning that we never assume would be shared in public.

TODD
Like how you want Jim Carrey’s massive cock?

PAMIE
Like how I’ve learned never to trust stee again.

STEE
Heh-heh. “Pods.” Dolphins have pods.

PAMIE
Never again. I tell you nothing.

HILARY
Stephen!

STEE
You’ve never called me that before.

PAMIE
I’ve never been quite so appalled.

STEE
What? You had a sex dream about Jim Carrey. It happens.

PAMIE
No it doesn’t!

STEE
That’s why Renee looks so squinty. That massive cock.

PAMIE
That’s why there are two Lauren Holly’s now.

EVERYBODY
That’s– NO! — Why would you–

PAMIE
Right. I’m the one who goes too far.

TODD
You started all of this with your disgusting dream.

PAMIE
I believe stee started it with his lack of decency.

HILARY
Stephen!

TODD
Stephen!

PAMIE
Nothing. Ever again. You never hear any of my secrets.

TODD
Come on, Pam. You touched it, right?

PAMIE
I’m looking for dolphins.

HILARY
Stephen!

STEE
“Pods.”
[/scripty]

Currently Reading

  • Model Behavior. This thing’s only about 180 pages, so I’m almost done.

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