AK
Pam? It’s A.K.

PAMIE
Hi, A.K.

AK
I’m about three-quarters of the way through with your book.

PAMIE
Oh, thank you!

AK
Yeah, and I’m really liking it.

PAMIE
Thanks. That’s very nice of you.

AK
But I had to call you, because…

PAMIE
You just got to the part about Simpsons fans?

AK
How’d you know that?

PAMIE
Let’s just say you’re not the first person to call me up after they finish that paragraph.

AK
Pam. Listen to me. I’m like, the coolest person you know.

PAMIE
Uh-huh.

AK
Granted, that’s not saying much, considering you know people like stee and Frank.

PAMIE
Right.

AK
But trust me when I say I’m cooler than most people. And I do that. I quote The Simpsons all the time.

PAMIE
Oh, I know.

AK
I’m not a Trekkie.

PAMIE
Um, okay.

AK
I’m cool!

PAMIE
Note taken.

AK
Are you laughing at me?

PAMIE
Not at all. But feel good that you’re not the first person to call me complaining about that paragraph. But also, many have told me how much they agree with me.

AK
That’s because you don’t have enough cool friends.

PAMIE
Bye, A.K.

AK
I hope your book ends with a retraction.

And stee updated.

Dan: People ask me all the time who the funny guy from TWoP on those VH-1 shows is, and then they do the Mrs. Garrett hands and squeal and squee all over the place. You’re famous.